More baking!

So, I know, paleo sweets are only supposed to be eaten in moderation. But...they're so good. And baking makes me happy when I'm angry. And the on-base supermarket on payday is hell on earth.
So I came home after four hours of dodging children darting in front of my cart and trying not to slam my cart into the backs of peoples legs and I saw two pears that really needed to get eaten.
So I answered the call of my oven and I baked.
Pear bread:
So, I couldn't find any paleo recipes and I had to modify, but things turned out wonderfully.

You'll need:
2 (very) rip pears, peeled and chopped.
1/3 cup maple syrup
2 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp ground ginger
1/4 tsp ground cloves
1/3 cup coconut oil
2 eggs
2/3 cup almond flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees.

Toss the pears with the maple syrup, ginger and cloves in a bowl to let the flavor sink in a little.

In another bowl, combine the dry ingredients.

Add everything else to the bowl with the pears, and then add the dry ingredients. I used a food processor to blend everything nice and smooth, but if you use a fork to break up the pears you should be able to whisk everything else together.

Pour everything into a pan and put it in the oven for about 50 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean when you prick the center.

I sliced up a banana and put it on the top (and it didn't sink!) Mr Idiot didn't like the texture of the banana on top which was totally fine with me, because I got all of it.

This was so good, and I ate it for breakfast, and as a snack and it was great with apple butter on it or butter and toasted.
Yum.
Make it, your friends will love it. (Or, if you're lucky, they'll all hate it and you'll get it all.)

Paleo baking SUCCESS

I cannot tell you guys how pleased I am. I've been messing with paleo bread and paleo pancakes and they just have not been working out, but I have finally had success with paleo baking. 

Paleo banana bread. I made it this morning, I ate it for breakfast, I'll be eating it tomorrow, it's delicious and it WORKED! It didn't turn into a gooey mess or taste like bland flour. Huzzah!

So, here's the recipe. This lovely, lovely bread goes great with tea (That's what I had for breakfast, nom) or coffee or as a snack mid-afternoon. So lovely, so easy. 

Paleo banana bread

6 eggs 

1/3 cup coconut milk (I used almond hazelnut cashew milk I found on sale)

1/3 cup honey

1/2 tbsp apple butter

2 tsp vanilla extract 

1/4 cup coconut oil

3/4 cup coconut flour

1/2 cup almond flour

2 1/2 tsp cinnamon

2 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp salt

3 ripe bananas mashed

Add everything into a mixing bowl and combine. 

Whisk if you don't have a hand mixer, and hand mix if you do. (Thanks, again mum. My life is so easy now)

Pour into a non-stick pan (Pro-tip, spray pan with oil to ease removal) and put into a 350 degree oven for an hour. 

Check that your bread is done by sticking a toothpick into the center. If the pick comes back clean, you're good. If it's gooey, put it back in.

Once it's baked, go ahead and eat!

Paleo snacks: back with a vengeance

Like I've said before, snacking while on the paleo diet can be a bit of a challenge. Paleo kind of requires that you prepare stuff, and the last thing I want to do when I want munchies is spend an hour cooking something. But, it also forces you to get creative with your snacks, and I like creativity.

This is a double duty recipe, which I love. This will do nicely for snack food or breakfast food. It's a different take on eggs and bacon, that's portable and really really fast.
These were a hit in the Idiot's house. I made a dozen when Mr. Idiot got a long lunch and came home, and about half an hour after he left I got a "DIBS ON THE REST OF THE MUFFINS" text. These are delicious hot out of the oven, cool from the counter or cold out of the fridge, and they are worth fighting over.

Eggs and bacon "muffins"
To make eight muffins:

4 eggs
8 strips of bacon
3 tbsp coconut flour (for reasons discussed last post, I'm still using regular flour because money)
2 tbsp bacon grease (or fat of your choice)
As much cheese as you feel is necessary

I think Mr. Idiot and I have come to the conclusion that our particular paleo does indeed include dairy. I can't abide fake cheese, and being totally honest with you, dear readers, almond milk is just not the same as a nice glass of icy cold cow juice. And cheese. This Idiot loves her cheese. We're working out our guidelines as we go along, but dairy has made the cut. You don't have to use cheese in these little mini muffins, so follow your heart.

To make a bigger batch of these you can just double everything, but keep in mind, one egg makes two muffins, the amount of bacon in this is completely arbitrary. There is never a need to cut down on bacon, so put in as much as you want. The flour is mostly for consistency, so if you follow the ration of 4 eggs to 3 tbsp, you should do okay. Ditto on the bacon grease.

Anyway, down to business.
Preheat the oven to 375 degrees, crack your eggs in a bowl and whisk in the flour.

Word to the wise, I googled a few of these paleo muffin recipes before cobbling this one together, and I did NOT read all the way through before I started cooking. If you don't have a food processor (like us) Do Not cook your bacon and try to cut it into bits. You will fling bacon all over your kitchen. Slice into strips prior to frying. Pro tip. Because I love you.

Once the bacon bits are lovely and crispy, add those to your egg "batter", and add the bacon grease as needed. If you're adding it straight from the pan it will cook the eggs a little as you add it, so keep the "batter" moving as you add the grease.

Add cheese (and any other ingredients you fancy. I think next time I'll be adding sliced peppers...endless possibilities)

Pour your mixture into muffin tins that you've sprayed with oil or lined with muffin cups and stick that baby in the oven for fifteen minutes, or until the tops are springy to the touch. Resist the temptation to fill the cups up all the way, these muffins rise a lot. Keep it at about 3/4 full.

Take out and enjoy!

Better than the real thing

So it's been about a week now that Mr. Idiot and I have been paleo.

Well, it's been a week for me. Mr Idiot has been summoned by his country to do important training exercises, which I'm pretty sure primarily include learning how to lie in the mud and get rained on...tax dollars at work ladies and gents.

Anyway, they don't make paleo MREs so he's eating what he's given. But I've been (kind of) sticking to the paleo diet, and one of the most challenging parts of eating like a caveman is snacking. When I want a nibble throughout the day, I usually eat crackers, chips, toast, cookies, popcorn, none of which we're allowed to eat on this diet. So snacks have been a real struggle for me. Meals have actually bee much easier than I anticipated. And exponentially more delicious, but that's for another post.

I've been searching for all kinds of snack ideas to satisfy the cravings I get during the day, so here is a great one. If you've got paleo friendly snack ideas, please for the love of god share them, because extending my repertoire is going to be necessary to keep this diet going.

Cauliflower popcorn.

I was dubious about this when I tried it, but I was desperate for something crunchy and salty and it sounded worth a shot.

I was right, it was really really good. Mine got a bit burned, but I think that's because I cut it up too small. I used a popcorn recipe from food.com that I made some adjustments to.

1 head of cauliflower, with large stems removed

coconut oil (you can use any fat you like)

salt

garlic powder to taste

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees.

Cut the cauliflower up into heads about the size of a ping pong ball. Don't do what I did and rip it into tiny little individual heads. Keep them fairly big, and cut the stems pretty short.

Combine your fat, salt and garlic (or whatever spice you'd like to use) in a bowl and coat the cauliflower in it.

Put the cauliflower in a baking tray, line it with parchment paper to save the cleanup, and put it in the oven for about an hour.

Check on it every ten or fifteen minutes to turn the cauliflower, and to make sure it's not burning.

Once it's golden brown and crispy, you're all done.

Mine is definitely burned, as you can see, but even then it was still so good. I'm going to put a little less salt in it next time, but those additions are really up to you and whatever you feel like. I'm pretty sure if you added cinnamon or another sweeter spice this would be equally good. 

This is fake popcorn. And I was of the impression that most fake things are bloody awful. Tofurkey is terrible, turkey bacon is an insult to real bacon, most of the time, the imitation is nowhere near as satisfying as the thing you're replacing.

This is an exception. This was just as satisfying, if not more so, than real buttery popcorn. It was extra good because it didn't evaporate in my stomach like popcorn does, it stuck around and I was hungry again until dinner time. Try this, even if you're not doing the paleo thing, it's very very easy, and surprisingly satisfying. I found myself wishing I had another cauliflower so I could make another bowl.