Coconut Mushroom pork with bacon turnip greens

So, most boring title ever, but whatever. It was super yummy. And today was ANOTHER snow day, which can I just take a minute and say what the hell North Carolina, it is halfway through February, it is time for snow days to be over and done with. It snowed nearly three inches in one day, and it's supposed to snow more tomorrow and Thursday. I do love the snow and it's so nice because AZ NEVER gets snow in the Valley, so it's a nice change, but come on weather gods. It's halfway to March, isn't it supposed to be getting to spring now? Like...soon?
Whatever, snow or no snow, I tackled p90x yoga again today, and I am quite proud to say that I made it through a whole hour of that crazy stuff today. And let me tell you, I am indeed hella sore. But, I feel good and like I worked hard and my butt is on fire guys. On. Fire. But in the best way. So, I'll be back at it again tomorrow, and the goal is to actually finish a session finally. Maybe tomorrow. My butt hurts today.
Anyway.
Here's some tasty pork-stuffs to eat when  your butt hurts, like mine does.

Mushroom and Coconut pork with bacon turnip greens.

What you'll need:
1/2 yellow onion, diced
10 oz mushrooms (or just a whole package sliced, that works too)
2 tbsp coconut oil
4 tbsp minced garlic
1 cup coconut milk
1 cup chicken broth
Big handful of turnip greens
3 slices of bacon, sliced

So, the vast majority of this cooking is done while you are in the living room, so that is a definite bonus for me.
Anyway, the steps for you to follow are thus:

Liberally season you pork chops with salt and pepper and cook in the coconut oil in a deep skillet on medium high heat for about four minutes per side, or until it gets brown on the outside.

Take the pork chops out and put them aside.

If you have to put more coconut oil in the skillet, you can, but either way, saute your onions and mushrooms in the same pan for another couple of minutes, or until the onions start to go transparent.

Pour the chicken broth into the skillet, let it come to a boil, take the heat to med-low and put the pork chops back in the skillet.

Add 2 tbsp of mince garlic, and cover the skillet and let it simmer for ten minutes, in the meantime start the turnip greens.

Take a pan, melt the other tbsp coconut oil and put in your turnip greens. Cover and let the leaves wilt for a few minutes. 

Bacon is my BFF

This meal, unfortunately is NOT a one pot meal by any means. There were like three pots going while I made this. It was delicious, but make sure you've got a lovely husband who is going to do the cleanup for you.

Add your bacon, and 2 tbsp minced garlic to the turnip greens and re-cover.

While the turnip greens are wilting, after the ten minutes are up, add in the cup of coconut milk to the pork chops and let it simmer. Bring the heat up to med-high and simmer, covered, for another ten minutes.

Turn the turnip greens down to med-low and let them heat up until the pork chops are done.

Once the turnip greens are done and the ten minutes are up, you're ready to serve.

I blended my turnip greens in a food processor for a few seconds before I plated, just to break up the turnip greens (which are ENORMOUS).
This stuff was super good, and Mr. Idiot was very disappointed that there wasn't more turnip greens to eat. That's usually a good sign, when Mr. Idiot is bummed there isn't more of it.

I'll admit, this is kind of an intensive meal...there were lots of pots going and lots of checking to make sure everything was going alright, but it was delicious and totally worth it.

Breakfast of champions

Breakfast is a pretty easy meal for paleo, because it's basically bacon and eggs every morning, no sweat. Plus, that much protein in the morning means I'm not hungry again during the day until nearly three. As much as I love bacon and eggs in all its permutations (soft-boiled eggs, hard boiled eggs, scrambled, fried) sometimes it's nice to mix things up. I've been experimenting with paleo pancakes, but with zero success so far. There's tons of recipes online, but mine just turn into mushy puddles. 

So, we're sticking with egg-based recipes so far, but I'll keep experimenting with non-egg breakfast foods. 

Anyway, this Mexican inspired brekkie is an amalgamation of a few recipes I found online, and whatever the hell was in my fridge. I think I'm getting the hang of throwing things together and getting pretty solid results. 

I made this recipe again this weekend for Mr. Idiot, and improved it vastly, but...I didn't take any pictures for you, so use your damn imagination. 

Breakfast of Champions

This recipe kept me full right up until dinner last Sunday, and then again for breakfast and lunch the next day. So it will (in theory) feed four.

1 sweet potato, diced

1/2 bell pepper diced

1/2 onion, diced

2 cloves of garlic, minced (or 1 tbsp pre-minced stuff)

2 tbsp coconut oil

handful of spinach (Or any other filler you like, spring onions, broccoli, anything you like)

2 roma tomatoes (you can use any tomatoes, this is just what was in the fridge)

7 eggs

Bacon. As I've said before, you can NEVER have too much bacon, I made 4 strips each

Chop everything, all the veggies get diced up and thrown in together.

Once the veggies are chopped, add coconut oil to large skillet, and add garlic over medium heat. 

Once the pan is hot and the garlic starts to brown add in chopped vegetables. Don't add the spinach yet. 

Once the sweet potatoes are soft to the touch (Use a spoon, not your hands, dur) add in the spinach and lower the heat to medium low. 

Crack the eggs directly into the skillet and mix everything together until it's all a nice big lumpy mess. 

Serve with bacon and some sliced and salted avocado. Feel free to add salsa, hot sauce, whatever you like. 

Alternatively, substitute the bacon for pork sausage mixed in with the eggs. I added two big spoonfuls of salsa to the scramble, and it was SO MUCH better the second time around. I think the fat from the pork sausage really helped bring all the vegetable flavors out. 

So. Good. 

I'm now officially on the lookout for paleo tortillas, so I can make breakfast burritos with this lovely, delicious mess. 

Candy bacon baby

This was all Mr. Idiots idea. I take no credit, only the responsibility of writing this up.
Mr Idiot is a big fan of Epic Meal Time, as am I, though one too many videos and I get a bit of a funny tummy.
Like Harley says in the video, you've seen it in your fucking dreams, here is how to do candy bacon.

It's beautiful, isn't it...

Take two parts brown sugar and one part cinnamon and mix then together in a bowl.

.

Get your bacon (Mr. Idiot and I used a whole pack, so follow your heart. Ignore what your arteries say) and lay it in a tin-foil-covered baking tray. 

Heat your oven up to 385 fahrenheit and sprinkle the cinnamon sugar mix over the bacon. Make sure there's about an inch between each strip, or your cinnamon sugar will bubble into a giant slab. I mean, if that's what your after, please share the results. Otherwise, for ease of snacking purposes, leave a little room. 

Put the bacon in the oven for about ten minutes. 

Once your ten minutes is up, take the bacon out, drain the grease, flip over the bacon and re-sprinkle

Here you see Mr. Idiot demonstrating the correct technique. 

Mr. Idiot's beloved EMT guys say to put the bacon back in for another ten, but our first batch burned when we did that, so put it in for five and see how it's looking. Add time as you need it. 

Once the other side is cooked, put the bacon on a plate (cover the plate in tin foil so the bacony goodness doesn't stick) and put it in the fridge for a few minutes.

Mr Idiot and I used this cooling time to spike a bottle of eggnog. Use your time wisely. 

Take out of the fridge, and enjoy.