Arrrrrriba fajitas

I do like North Carolina, although I am not a huge fan of Fayetteville. I like how close the beach is, I like the weather and I love that it snows here.

What I don't like is that there is nowhere to get freaking Mexican food. Arizona is my heart, and Mexican food is the key to my heart. Amado's carne asada fries, breakfast burritos, being hungover and miserable in the parking lot of a Filliberto's while you wait for your quesadilla is perhaps what I miss the most. (Second to my besties and my parents, obvs). 

So, sometimes I get all nostalgic and I just want some damn Mexican. I cannot really recreate the greasy, beany, cheesy wonder of drive-through Mexican food, but I do what I can. 

So, here we are at fajitas. My dad makes fajitas, but his are better than this. He makes skirt steak fajitas on the mega-grill, so I'm aiming for that good and if I make it halfway, I'll be pretty pleased. 

This is a paleo diet, except for the tortillas, which you obviously can take out and still enjoy the wonder of half-decent Mexican food.  

What you'll need for a little taste of the desert:

2 stoplight bell peppers, sliced. I used red and yellow, but you can use whatever colors you want.

1 lb 'pork for fajitas' sidenote, thank you Commissary for so clearly marking your meat products. 

1 poblano pepper, sliced

1/2 yellow onion, diced

1 packet McCormick's fajita powder (so I have no idea if this is paleo, but whatever. Yolo and stuff)

2 tbsp olive oil

1/2 cup water

The 'pork for fajitas' came pre-sliced, but if you're just using a hunk of meat, cut it into strips. 

Put the olive oil in a big pot over medium high heat.

Add in the pork and let it sizzle for a minute. 

Add the peppers, bell and poblano.

Once everything is sizzling away happily, add the water and the seasoning.

Mix everything around so the seasoning doesn't clump on to anything.

Cover, lower the heat to medium and let it cook for around ten minutes.

You can serve and leave the leftovers on low to keep everything warm.

These weren't very spicy (jalapenos next time) but they were definitely what I was looking for. It had tacos and peppers and a little bit of zing. If you're like me and you can't substitute anything in the world for a good burrito, this might help.
Signed, a recovering carne asada addict.
(Jk, there is no recovering from that)

Happy Saturday loooovers

Happy Valentine's day (a little late, I grant you) I hope you all had a lovely day, I know these two Idiots did. Mr. Idiot even brought champagne so we could have mimosas. But, this is not where I rub your faces in how much breakfast food I ate yesterday. (It was a LOT by the way) But, I am here to talk about this awesome baked eggplant I made last night. (Don't panic guys, Valentine's day steak dinner photos are coming soon, but I am full of leftover steak and wine, so be happy I'm posting at all.)

Anyway, one of the things I realized was missing in my new paleo delicious lifestyle was some hearty Italian food. There's plenty of awesome recipes for Asian food and burgers and all kinds, but I think Italian is hard to fake because of all that cheese and pasta and...okay, I'm drooling.
But! If you've got a hankering like I did for hearty, meaty yummy Italian goodness, this is stuff for you. And it's pretty easy. And I got to use a new vegetable so score on the experience chart for me!

Anyway, I used ground turkey in this because we didn't have any other ground beef, but you can use beef too.

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees.

You have to slice the eggplant up and "weep" it, which is something I had never heard of until the other night. Slice it, put it in a colander and salt it. Leave it for 20 minutes and it'll leak liquid. (Put a bowl under the colander fyi)

Squish it down a little after the 20 minutes to get any leftover liquid out.

Brush the slices of eggplant with olive oil on both sides and put the eggplant in the oven for 25 minutes.

The time it takes to get the eggplant done is different depending on your oven, so make sure it's crispy on the edges.

Turn the oven down to 350 and heat a pan over medium high heat. I diced up a couple of tomatoes and added a cup of tomato juice.

Let the meat cook through, the turkey only took about ten minutes.

You can layer this however you like, I know eggplant parm isn't usually layered like lasagna, but I only have a little oven dish, so I layered it.

Once the oven is down to 350, put the eggplant in for another fifteen minutes.

I sprinkled parmesan on top (SUE ME GUYS) because it's delicious and we had a little bit still leftover.

Plate, and ta-da! Awesome, filling, Italian amazingness. So satisfying.

Chicken and squash coconut curry

So, I haven't made anything that I can keep in bulk, and after last weeks "what the hell are we going to eat" problems, I figured making some big quantities wouldn't be a bad idea.
It's not that we're not buying enough food, I buy enough vegetables to feed a small country, but by the time the last few days before payday rolls around we've eaten all the fresh stuff, and I never know what to do with just frozen veggies.
So I'm looking out for recipes that I can cook and freeze.
Curry ticks all of those boxes. Freezes well, can easily be made in bulk and super easy to stretch out.
This particular curry is very...orange. It's got carrots, butternut squash and sweet potatoes in it, so there's lots of filling veggies in here.
This is the one time I listened to Mr. (baby) Idiot and didn't  make something stupid spicy, and then he had the gall to complain! So, the frozen half of this will be getting a heavy scooping of curry paste next time.

Anyway, here's what you'll need

4 carrots, chopped
1 butternut squash, chopped
1 sweet potato chopped
2 chicken breasts, cubed
1 cup of coconut milk
1 cup of chicken stock
2 tbsp curry paste
3 tbsp chili garlic sauce
2 tbsp grated ginger
2 tsp cumin
3 tsp paprika

The lovely thing about this is that you kind of just...throw everything into the pot and let it simmer for a while. Super easy, and you can ignore it and go watch 30 Rock on Netflix. That's what you guys do right? Right??

Anyway, even if that's not what you do with your 25 minutes of free time, but chop all your veggies up and throw everything in the pot.

Side note. I have never peeled a squash before. Know what you're getting into before you start peeling, because your veggie peeler will not work here. The skin is like an inch thick. I just sliced the skin off and called it a day. I'm sure there are other ways to do it, but..I got frustrated so it happened.

Add in the chicken stock and bring it up to a low boil.

Add in the coconut milk, as well as all the spices and let it simmer for a while.

After about 15 minutes, check on everything and keep letting everything cook until the chicken is cooked through. Plate, and serve. Hey presto. I had TONS of this left after I'd made two servings, so this is going in the freezer for next weeks dinner.

I made cauliflower rice to serve this on, which is basically ground up cauliflower. I used my (amazing and wonderful) food processor to get this to the right consistency, but if you have a grater (and the patience of a saint) you can grate it down to rice-size. I also ground up some coconut flakes in with the cauliflower and heated it up in a pan with some coconut oil.

Monday salad: extra easy because I'm extra tired

It's nearly 9pm here at la casa des Idiots, and I'm finally sitting on my bum. FINALLY.
Today Mr Idiot had the day off, so we used our Monday much more productively than last week (in which we binge-watched Netflix and ate bacon) and ran all of the errands. ALL. THE. ERRANDS. We prayed at the alter of the Army Gods (aka the Soldier Support center) to get some of the cost of the move back, (YAY MONEY!), we visited Mr. Idiots long-ago-neglected UPS box only to find out that they only keep mail for thirty days before they return it to sender. And his has been closed for at least three months. Oh well. We also needed to pick up some groceries, but it's my least favorite time of the month, which is the time three days before payday where we have maybe a $60 buffer, and we're all out of almost everything. My fridge is a sad, mostly empty mess right now, and it gives me a big sad. But! We're trying this new thing where we space out our bills so we don't get completely drained by the 3rd of the month, so here's hoping come February we won't have these shitty three and four day periods where we've got zilch in the bank. To make that long story short, we need some more food, but we had to really scratch out what we've got left. So, thirty bucks poorer, we've got enough nosh to see us through until payday.
We even remembered to return my (shockingly) overdue library books, which I think they've written off as lost by this point.
By the time we got home, I was ready to cook dinner and just flop on the couch, but nope. Mr. Idiot has plans for his Monday and they've gotta happen. We spent almost an hour moving a couch from the spare room into the living room, and moving the pull out couch into the spare room. I know that sounds like no biggie, but the movers tried to get that sucker into the spare room and failed. The people whose job it is to make things fit through doors couldn't get it, so these two Idiots figured they'd try. Yeah, pro tip, if the movers don't do it, don't try it yourself. Eventually we got it through the door with only minimal doorframe damage. I was sweaty, grouchy, had pulled something in my back, stabbed by invisible couch nails, and had yelled at Mr. Idiot at least six times to NOT DROP THE COUCH ON ME, the last thing I wanted to do was actually cook dinner.
But, what did I do? I went and made some awesome salad thanks to Michelle Tam over at nomnompaleo and as luck would have it, it was easy as hell. I did make a few modifications to her recipe, because I'm lazy and I need to improvise sometimes...

Asian nut salad
This salad is awesome because it makes enough for both of us to be full, and to have leftovers for our lunches tomorrow. And just let me say, Mr. Idiot eats A LOT for both lunch and dinner, so the fact that there's leftovers is saying something.

For the sauce, you'll need:

2 tbsp almond butter (I used peanut, sue me)
1 tbsp fish sauce (I'm pretty sure you could sub coconut aminos for this and be okay)
1 tbsp white vinegar.
1 tbsp coconut oil
2 tbsp applesauce (unsweetened)
1/2 tbsp garlic chili paste

For the salad:
2 chicken breasts
1 whole head of romaine lettuce
3 or 4 carrots, grated/julienned/sliced however
2 apples, sliced

This salad has shredded chicken in it, and before we got a hand mixer/food processor (THANKS MUM <3 ) we had to shred chicken by hand (like savages). So, my advice is boil the chicken breasts while you're doing everything else to cook them. If you don't have a mixer or anything, you can shred by hand once the breasts are cool, or use two forks to rip it to bits. Your call. IF however you just got God's greatest invention, the food processor, you're fine.

So, put the breasts on on boil and start grating/julienning/slicing your carrots. I used four medium carrots for this, but use your judgement. Whatever ratio of carrots to lettuce to apples you want is good.

A mandoline makes your life easy

Put your carrots in a big bowl.

Chop up the apples. I didn't peel them because I love apple skins, but that's totally your call. Slice them into eighths and then in half long-wise, so they've still got some chunk to them and toss them in the bowl with the carrots.

Hopefully, your chicken is done boiling, so let it cool if you're using your hands, or cut it into quarters and process that bitch.

Wash off the lettuce and rip it into bite-sized bits. I hate the giant...spines, whatever they are on lettuce, so I just ripped off the leafy parts.

Throw that into the bowl and mix it all up.

Combine all the ingredients for the sauce and pop it in the microwave for 30 seconds to melt the coconut oil and soften the almond butter. Mix all that goodness together, pour over the salad and serve.

I was too damn tired to take any pictures after I'd added the chicken or the dressing or plated it, because I was so excited to eat and sit down.

This blog entry took longer to write than the salad took to make, so it's AWESOME when your feet hurt and you're hangry.

Breakfast of champions

Breakfast is a pretty easy meal for paleo, because it's basically bacon and eggs every morning, no sweat. Plus, that much protein in the morning means I'm not hungry again during the day until nearly three. As much as I love bacon and eggs in all its permutations (soft-boiled eggs, hard boiled eggs, scrambled, fried) sometimes it's nice to mix things up. I've been experimenting with paleo pancakes, but with zero success so far. There's tons of recipes online, but mine just turn into mushy puddles. 

So, we're sticking with egg-based recipes so far, but I'll keep experimenting with non-egg breakfast foods. 

Anyway, this Mexican inspired brekkie is an amalgamation of a few recipes I found online, and whatever the hell was in my fridge. I think I'm getting the hang of throwing things together and getting pretty solid results. 

I made this recipe again this weekend for Mr. Idiot, and improved it vastly, but...I didn't take any pictures for you, so use your damn imagination. 

Breakfast of Champions

This recipe kept me full right up until dinner last Sunday, and then again for breakfast and lunch the next day. So it will (in theory) feed four.

1 sweet potato, diced

1/2 bell pepper diced

1/2 onion, diced

2 cloves of garlic, minced (or 1 tbsp pre-minced stuff)

2 tbsp coconut oil

handful of spinach (Or any other filler you like, spring onions, broccoli, anything you like)

2 roma tomatoes (you can use any tomatoes, this is just what was in the fridge)

7 eggs

Bacon. As I've said before, you can NEVER have too much bacon, I made 4 strips each

Chop everything, all the veggies get diced up and thrown in together.

Once the veggies are chopped, add coconut oil to large skillet, and add garlic over medium heat. 

Once the pan is hot and the garlic starts to brown add in chopped vegetables. Don't add the spinach yet. 

Once the sweet potatoes are soft to the touch (Use a spoon, not your hands, dur) add in the spinach and lower the heat to medium low. 

Crack the eggs directly into the skillet and mix everything together until it's all a nice big lumpy mess. 

Serve with bacon and some sliced and salted avocado. Feel free to add salsa, hot sauce, whatever you like. 

Alternatively, substitute the bacon for pork sausage mixed in with the eggs. I added two big spoonfuls of salsa to the scramble, and it was SO MUCH better the second time around. I think the fat from the pork sausage really helped bring all the vegetable flavors out. 

So. Good. 

I'm now officially on the lookout for paleo tortillas, so I can make breakfast burritos with this lovely, delicious mess. 

Spaghetti squash noodle bowls aka most delicious thing on earth

Hello all. It's day 11 of the Idiots on paleo and things are going swimmingly. It's also (finally) time for Mr. Idiot to come back from training to sit in the mud and the rain and back to me, so we're very excited about that. He's not home yet and I imagine they're having him do important finishing up things like sit around, complain and waste time, so in the meantime let me tell you about perhaps the world's single most incredibly delicious food. I found this recipe on the awesome paleomg.com and if you're looking for truly good paleo fare, this is a place to check out.

One of the nicest things about eating paleo is that you're forced to get really inventive with your food, and to try out vegetables I didn't even know existed. Which is where I'm going with this Spaghetti noodle bowl.

This dish is really really easy, and so good that Mr. Idiot and I were fighting over who got the leftovers.

Now, I'll come clean here to those of you following this blog who are doing a strict paleo thing before we get to the recipe. I used regular Sriracha, not the paleo stuff, and I used soy sauce, not coconut aminos and peanut butter. Now I know none of those are paleo friendly but I cannot abide wasting perfectly good food, and I have soy and Sriracha and peanut butter at home already. I just can't bear the idea of getting rid of them and replacing them when there is really nothing wrong with them. I'm also of the school of thought that being fanatically strict about anything is a path to failure. You have to give yourself a little wiggle room or you're going to snap eventually and binge on things you miss. So, 95% of the time, what I eat is paleo. But I'm not throwing away perfectly good peanut butter, soy sauce or breadcrumbs. I just can't. /endrant.

Now, the main attraction:

Spaghetti Squash Noodle bowl with (aptly named) OMG sauce.

1 spaghetti squash cut in half with seeds and threads removed

Big handful of fresh spinach

1 head of broccoli separated into smaller bits

1 lbs of turkey

1 tbsp Sriracha

1tbsp coconut aminos

That's it for the main part of the dish. The recipe on paleomg.com uses pork, not turkey, but I had turkey in the freezer and it was bloody good anyway.

Now, arguably the most important part of this dish is the sauce.

OMG sauce

2 tbsp almond butter (I used peanut)

juice from 2 limes (I realized I didn't have any so I skipped it)

1 ½ tbsp coconut aminos (or soy sauce if you're me)

2 tbsp Sriracha

½ tbs honey

1 tsp sesame oil (I didn't have this, so I used extra coconut oil)

3 tbsp coconut oil

2 tsp ginger grated

2 cloves of garlic, minced

½ tsp crushed red pepper

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees and put the halved spaghetti squash cut side down on a baking tray. The omgpaleo recipe says to bake for 20 minutes, or until the skin gives when you poke it, but it took us almost 40 minutes to get ours to give, so start earlier than you think. I think it depends on the size of the squash, and unbeknownst to us we got a massive one. Apparently.

Once the skin gives when you poke it, take it out and scrape out the inside. If you've cooked it enough, it will come out looking like noodles. Put in a bowl and set aside.

In a big pan over med-high heat put your turkey (or pork or whatever) in with 1tbsp of Sririacha and 1tbsp soy sauce. Cook it through and then put it in the bowl with the squash and set aside.

Put the broccoli in the pan and lower the heat a bit. Once it's browned slightly, put the lid on the pan and let it steam. We added ½ a cup of water so it wouldn't burn. I think when you cook with pork there's more fat, so there's more liquid to steam the broccoli, but our pan was pretty dry. So, use your brain, don't burn your broccoli. Once the broccoli is going, add the spinach and put the lid on. 

Once the spinach wilts, lower the heat again (to low) and add the squash and the turkey.

Let that simmer while you make the sauce.

Combine all the ingredients and mix together. Because coconut oil is a solid, and peanut butter isn't much of a liquid either, you'll have to microwave the sauce to get everything to combine properly. Once that's done, pour over the noodle bowls and eat.

Watch your plate though. This stuff is so good people are likely to try and steal it.  

Taco Tuesday update

Sorry about the lag in posts everyone. Yesterday was a bit mad. Mr. Idiot had a late night on Tuesday, and then had to get up and back to work at 2am so it was a little nuts.
Anyway, here's the scoop on the tacos.
They came out pretty good. I was starving when I started cooking and the smell nearly drove me crazy. Mr Idiot had no complaints, and neither did I, but they were just kind of bland. I'm not really sure how to spice them up (Sorry). I used some taco seasoning Mr. Idiot picked up on the way home, as well as a couple of sliced up jalapenos, but it just kind of tasted boring. Nothing exciting, nothing terrible.

Anyway, here's what I did for the tacos. Admittedly, these took like five minutes and they were good for something quick. So if that's what you're after these are a good idea. Though honestly, if I had the beef already defrosted, I'd go for the meatballs. They were just as easy, though they admittedly take longer to cook.
However, if you've got a hankering for tacos, here you go.

1lb of ground beef
2 jalapenos, sliced and diced
1/2 an onion sliced
1/2 a packet of taco seasoning (optional)
garlic powder
2 cups of rice

Brown the beef in a pan over medium heat. Use a pan that's bigger than you think you'll need, because to keep the beef from clumping into bits too big for tacos, you need to move it around pretty vigorously. I ended up getting beef and onions all over the stove, so take that advice unless you want a pain in the rear cleanup.

Slice the jalapenos and the onions and put them in with the beef. Continue mixing and moving everything around.

Add the salt, taco seasoning, garlic powder and whatever else you're inclined to put in.

I put a lid on the pan at this point and lowered the heat and left it to simmer for a while, while I cooked the rice.

Most of the time when I have tacos, there's shredded lettuce and tomatoes and beans and stuff, but I didn't really have the traditional trimmings. Maybe that's why these kind of fell flat, I don't know. I had some leftover tinned diced tomatoes I'd used earlier in the week to stretch out spaghetti sauce, so I warmed them up and served those with the rice and the meat.

All told this took me about ten minutes, fifteen if you include chopping the jalapenos and the onions.

This is a recipe I'd really like to improve on because it is super easy and super quick, so if you have suggestions, leave them in the comments!