So, if you're good little Idiots, you've all looked at the paleo shopping guide I posted earlier today. Over the course of the week, I'll be breaking down that list for you a little, and going over some of the big hurdles I encountered when I started going paleo.
Things like:
Do I spend more and buy all organic?
Do I buy all free range meat and eggs?
Can I still have milk in my coffee?
How much cooking am I going to have to?
Is there a 'convenient' paleo?
There's also the question of whether you want to be really, totally, completely paleo, or whether it's better for you to give yourself some leeway on things like coconut aminos and paleo Sriracha that are really hard to find, or are really expensive. I know for me at least, because we shop at the military grocery store, there's a limited selection of specialty and organic/all natural ingredients. And I also know paleo can be really expensive. You're supposed to buy all this pure food, all organic, all free range. That shit is pricey, and if you live on a fixed income like we do, being a perfect example of paleo sainthood isn't really possible.
What is possible though is changing the way you think about food, about snacking and about the things that are going to fill your belly and make you happy and healthy.
These are all questions I had, and I did a lot of googling to try and answer them. Unfortunately, there are so many competing voices out there it can be overwhelming trying to pick one to follow. So, I'll send you to some great resources I used, and I'll tell you my experience and let you decide what you want to do.
The list that went up today was a total paleo overhaul of your kitchen. It's kind of a one-size-fits-all guide: a pretty comprehensive list of the basics, and it looks a lot like my first paleo shopping list.
Over the course of the week, I'll be talking about all these things. I don't want to scare you with massive walls of text, so the Idiot Proof Guide to Paleo is going to get broken down a little bit.
Paleo can be stressful and intimidating at first; you come home with a cart full of vegetables and no idea how to cook them, but rest assured, if this Idiot can do it, you can too.
Showing posts with label married life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label married life. Show all posts
Thursday, March 13, 2014
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
March Madness
Hello all.
I'm going to apologize again, and in advance for the lack of posts in the next few days. It's been a bit of a crazy week for me. The dog has been taking up pretty much all of my attention, because I mean come on. She's adorable and ALWAYS down to play.
So, there's that, there's the fact I've been working out (at an actual gym I'll have you know) and going to yoga a ton. (More on that whole deal later this week, I promise)
I'm going to apologize again, and in advance for the lack of posts in the next few days. It's been a bit of a crazy week for me. The dog has been taking up pretty much all of my attention, because I mean come on. She's adorable and ALWAYS down to play.
 |
| Look at that freakin face! |
AND there's the minor thing that mama Idiot is coming to visit on Saturday! I'm pretty stoked about it, because I haven't seen her since Christmas, BUT that means I have to do a total blitz of my house. I have a highly organized plan of execution, room by room, to get the whole place mom-approved before she gets here.
I've also got some furniture revamping to do. We finally got around to getting a sander, so Mr. Idiot sanded down the coffee table and the dresser and it's my job to paint them. I have never painted furniture, so we'll see how they turn out. I'm pretty hopeful, because Mr. Idiot is a total handyman n00b and he did a beautiful job sanding the stuff down. Fingers crossed I can pull of my first attempt as flawlessly.
In other news, I managed to spend less than $200 at the grocery store this week. I don't know if that's because I'm eating less, so we have more food or something, but it was nice to not cry inwardly as I watch all the money just...trickle away. I'm going to post a shopping list for all my dedicated followers (all three of you <3) Partly for me, so I can stop wasting scraps of paper, and partly for you guys, so you can get an idea what paleo shopping on a pretty tight budget looks like. I know that $200 at the grocery store sounds like a LOT of money, but that feeds two people for two weeks and change. Fifty bucks per person a week isn't bad I think. It's actually less than we were spending before we went paleo, because I'm not buying chips or oatmeal or cookies or anything. Or frozen dinners, I won't lie, I was kind of partial to those, and they add up quickly. Plus, there's normally at least two or three days left of food at the end of the two weeks if I can't get to the grocery store on payday (because it is an ungodly hellscape.)
So, stay tuned for the grocery list, a break down of my workout, my diet and how the weight loss is going (I'm down ten pounds already!!)
So, stay tuned, I promise to be more on top of the whole posting thing, because I know you all care about my little life.
Much love,
Mrs. Idiot.
Thursday, February 27, 2014
Dogdogdog and other things but mostly DOG!
Ladies and gentlemen, readers and friends, I have some very exciting news to share with you. In fact, I have two pieces of very exciting news.
One, I AM WRITING THIS FROM A KITCHEN TABLE. That's right folks, no longer do the Idiots have to lean weirdly over a coffee table, or eat out of our laps. We have a real life, honest-to-god, motherfucking kitchen table. It is amazing what not having to eat in the living room can do for a person. I feel like an actual adult. Mr. Idiot and I had dinner at the table last night! I didn't have to pick up crumbs of eggplant off the floor, or vacuum up bits of turkey after we were done. I didn't come out this morning and see tomato squished into the couch cushions. Oh happy day.
In even better news, dear readers, the Idiots have taken in a fluffy, adorable third member, and I believe she fits right in with the two Idiots already here. Her name is Koda. I wanted to name her Laika, after the first dog in space, but she's a little too old to rename.
She's been here for a week now and she seems to be pretty well settled in. In fact, it didn't even take her a day to make herself at home. Within six hours all three of us fell asleep on the couch. Cuddle puddle style.
It's incredible how much better having a dog makes me feel. I was starting to get pretty down. I've had no luck looking for work, I've had no luck making friends and it's hard to keep your spirits and motivation up when it feels like everything sucks. I was lonely, and pretty bummed about my prospects in general. Not to say I'm unhappy, because I'm not. I've got no right to be. I have a wonderful husband and a nice house and we make enough money to pay the bills and keep the lights on, but I felt (still feel, a bit) like I was stagnating. Like I wasn't doing anything with myself. Koda has helped a lot. She needs to get walked every day, she needs to be fed and she always wants to be played with or cuddled. So it gives me things I have to do every day, and she keeps me company. The house feels less empty now, and when Mr. Idiot has to be gone for training exercises, I've got a little fuzzy girl to keep me company.
One, I AM WRITING THIS FROM A KITCHEN TABLE. That's right folks, no longer do the Idiots have to lean weirdly over a coffee table, or eat out of our laps. We have a real life, honest-to-god, motherfucking kitchen table. It is amazing what not having to eat in the living room can do for a person. I feel like an actual adult. Mr. Idiot and I had dinner at the table last night! I didn't have to pick up crumbs of eggplant off the floor, or vacuum up bits of turkey after we were done. I didn't come out this morning and see tomato squished into the couch cushions. Oh happy day.
In even better news, dear readers, the Idiots have taken in a fluffy, adorable third member, and I believe she fits right in with the two Idiots already here. Her name is Koda. I wanted to name her Laika, after the first dog in space, but she's a little too old to rename.
She's been here for a week now and she seems to be pretty well settled in. In fact, it didn't even take her a day to make herself at home. Within six hours all three of us fell asleep on the couch. Cuddle puddle style.
It's incredible how much better having a dog makes me feel. I was starting to get pretty down. I've had no luck looking for work, I've had no luck making friends and it's hard to keep your spirits and motivation up when it feels like everything sucks. I was lonely, and pretty bummed about my prospects in general. Not to say I'm unhappy, because I'm not. I've got no right to be. I have a wonderful husband and a nice house and we make enough money to pay the bills and keep the lights on, but I felt (still feel, a bit) like I was stagnating. Like I wasn't doing anything with myself. Koda has helped a lot. She needs to get walked every day, she needs to be fed and she always wants to be played with or cuddled. So it gives me things I have to do every day, and she keeps me company. The house feels less empty now, and when Mr. Idiot has to be gone for training exercises, I've got a little fuzzy girl to keep me company.
Monday, February 17, 2014
Steak is good for the soul
So, here's the belated Valentine's day post I know you've all been dying to get your eyes on.
Even if you don't care, here it is anyway, so enjoy. ENJOY I said.
Mr Idiot was lovely and went out in the morning to pick up a veritable cornucopia of deliciousness (which included tulips, awww) and we feasted upon eggs and bacon and sausages and biscuits. We also decided that if we were going to take a break day (maybe it went to the rest of the weekend) from paleo v-day seemed to be the best day to do it.
So he came home with chocolates and biscuits and champagne. Because he knows how to treat a lady.
Yes guys, those are wine bottles you can see in the background. We love us some fermented grapes in this house.
Even if you don't care, here it is anyway, so enjoy. ENJOY I said.
Mr Idiot was lovely and went out in the morning to pick up a veritable cornucopia of deliciousness (which included tulips, awww) and we feasted upon eggs and bacon and sausages and biscuits. We also decided that if we were going to take a break day (maybe it went to the rest of the weekend) from paleo v-day seemed to be the best day to do it.
So he came home with chocolates and biscuits and champagne. Because he knows how to treat a lady.
 |
| What a charmer. |
Anyway, I won't bother to give you breakfast recipes, because it was pretty basic. And massive, and delicious. And full of mimosas, which is my favorite kind of breakfast. We could barely move once we'd finished, so thank god House of Cards came out as we needed several hours to deflate. (IT'S SO GOOD GUYS. WATCH IT NOW. SHAMELESS NETFLIX PLUG. I DON'T EVEN CARE)
After all the biscuits, and all the House of Cards tension, we figured we'd skip the traditional Valentine's Day candlelit dinner and go rock climbing. There's a place in downtown Fayetteville called The Climbing Place, which we love. The staff are great and friendly, and on Fridays they do $13 equipment rentals, and free pizza. Which is kind of a big deal.
So we went and climbed off some of the chocolate, and I was reminded that physics is a thing, and when Mr. Idiot, who is a fair bit heavier than me, falls off a wall, I will inevitably fly off the floor and nearly collide with his crotch. To the delight of The Climbing Place employees.
If you're clicking on this post for a recipe, you've finally made it. Though I hesitate to really call it a recipe. It's more like...here's what we ate.
But you're here, so I should share it anyway.
Steak is good for the Soul
2 (absolutely enormous) sirloin steaks
1 1/2 packs of whole button mushrooms
3 tbsp butter (but you can never really have too much)
2 tbsp olive oil
1 bundle of asparagus, with the woody ends cut off.
Season the steak with salt, pepper, red pepper, garlic and onion powder, paprika and parsley.
Cook it in a skillet over medium high heat for eight or nine minutes on each side, or until the center has reached your desired level of pinkness. Our sirloins were really and truly giant, so if your steak is smaller, you won't have to cook it as long.
Wash off your mushrooms to get the dirt off (or don't, a little dirt never hurt anyone.) and add 2 tbsp olive oil to a pan on medium high heat. Once the oil is hot, add the mushrooms and let them cook for a few minutes. Drizzle some olive oil over the top to coat and cover the pan. Let the mushrooms cook until they become fragrant and are a little soft, about ten minutes.
While the steak is going, bring a pot of water to a boil and cook your asparagus until they're about halfway done (six or seven minutes in boiling water) and then drain the pot. Melt the butter in the pot and lower the heat to med-low. Put the asparagus back in and let it absorb the butter, so another five or six minutes, or until most of the butter is gone.
That's it. Nothing complicated for v-day for the Idiots, but damn was it tasty. Opened a nice little bottle of wine and watched Kevin Spacey get all amoral on D.C.'s ass.
Perfect Valentine's day if you ask me.
After all the biscuits, and all the House of Cards tension, we figured we'd skip the traditional Valentine's Day candlelit dinner and go rock climbing. There's a place in downtown Fayetteville called The Climbing Place, which we love. The staff are great and friendly, and on Fridays they do $13 equipment rentals, and free pizza. Which is kind of a big deal.
So we went and climbed off some of the chocolate, and I was reminded that physics is a thing, and when Mr. Idiot, who is a fair bit heavier than me, falls off a wall, I will inevitably fly off the floor and nearly collide with his crotch. To the delight of The Climbing Place employees.
If you're clicking on this post for a recipe, you've finally made it. Though I hesitate to really call it a recipe. It's more like...here's what we ate.
But you're here, so I should share it anyway.
Steak is good for the Soul
2 (absolutely enormous) sirloin steaks
1 1/2 packs of whole button mushrooms
3 tbsp butter (but you can never really have too much)
2 tbsp olive oil
1 bundle of asparagus, with the woody ends cut off.
Season the steak with salt, pepper, red pepper, garlic and onion powder, paprika and parsley.
Cook it in a skillet over medium high heat for eight or nine minutes on each side, or until the center has reached your desired level of pinkness. Our sirloins were really and truly giant, so if your steak is smaller, you won't have to cook it as long.
Wash off your mushrooms to get the dirt off (or don't, a little dirt never hurt anyone.) and add 2 tbsp olive oil to a pan on medium high heat. Once the oil is hot, add the mushrooms and let them cook for a few minutes. Drizzle some olive oil over the top to coat and cover the pan. Let the mushrooms cook until they become fragrant and are a little soft, about ten minutes.
While the steak is going, bring a pot of water to a boil and cook your asparagus until they're about halfway done (six or seven minutes in boiling water) and then drain the pot. Melt the butter in the pot and lower the heat to med-low. Put the asparagus back in and let it absorb the butter, so another five or six minutes, or until most of the butter is gone.
That's it. Nothing complicated for v-day for the Idiots, but damn was it tasty. Opened a nice little bottle of wine and watched Kevin Spacey get all amoral on D.C.'s ass.
Perfect Valentine's day if you ask me.
Sunday, February 16, 2014
Greasy bar food, paleo style
So, if you're anything like me ( and if you're reading, I assume you are) you love yourself some tasty, greasy finger food. I love dive bars, partly because the beer is always cheap, but also becasue the food is always good and spicy and extra greasy, and I can eat it with my fingers and no one will judge me.
Double win.
Sometimes when you're trying to eat clean and be healthy you get cravings for things you really cannot have. Like hot wings, fries and ranch, or cinnamon rolls. But the goal is to not give in to those cravings. Though, don't torture yourself. Mr Idiot and I have Saturdays off. We can have a little ice cream, maybe some hamburgers, and we don't get nutso over the smell of McDonald's the rest of the week. I guess the trick is to set yourself a limit--I can have a break day, or meal, or week, and then I have to stick to the plan. It helps stop binge eating on stuff you've been denying yourself and then feeling guilty about it for ages afterwords. At least, that's what works for us. There are lots of great resources on making sure you don't crack and go crazy on a diet.
But, I've gotten off point. I had a craving for the bar food I love (and can't have) so instead of caving and ordering delivery, we made an attempt to recreate the joy of wings and fries without the grease and bad fats.
So, this recipe is kind of labor intensive. There's a few recipes that I combined to get this meal, but you can swap in or out whatever you feel like eating.
I wanted something spicy, and I really wanted finger food, so we made drumsticks and fries and Caesar salad with paleo friendly ranch dressing.
So, this is probably a thing you should start early, because the drumsticks need to marinade. I only marinaded them for an hour, and they were not nearly as spicy as I wanted.
So, this is what you'll need for the drumsticks
However many drumsticks you feel like eating (we made eight)
2 jalapeno peppers, deseeded and cut into chunks
1/4 cup of coconut oil melted
2 tablespoons coconut aminos
4 cloves of garlic peeled
1 tsp ground cumin
juice of 1 lime
1/2 cup cilantro leaves
Blend all of that good stuff together in a food processor. Put the drumsticks in a freezer bag and pour in your spicy marinade. Shake the bag around to coat the drumsticks and stick them in the fridge for anywhere between one and eight hours. (I'd go for more than an hour, let that lime and jalapeno really sink in there.)
While those are marinading, you can prep the sweet potatoes and the dressing.
This dressing, by the way, is awesome. I used the leftovers to dip meatballs in, I used it as veggie dip, it's great.
So, here's the ingredients for the dip/dressing/awesome sauce
1 ripe avocado
3 garlic cloves
1 can of coconut milk
1 tbsp lemon juice
2 tbsp fresh dill
2 tbsp fresh chives
salt and pepper to taste.
Throw all of that in the food processor and blend it all up. I put a hearty squish of sriracha sauce into the mix because I'm a sucker for punishment.
I threw together a salad with some turnip greens and some lettuce that was leftover in the fridge. There were some carrots and...whatever in there, use your imagination.
So! Once your lime chicken is done marinading, make your sweet potato fries. You can get the low down on sweet potato fries from the Idiot Burgers recipe here.
The fries have to go in at 450 and the chicken cooks at 425, so make your choice which one you wanna cook first, it's no big deal.
Put the drumsticks on a wire rack over an oven tray covered in foil.
We don't have a cooling rack, so I used the rack from the toaster oven. Don't judge. Improvise, okay?
Anyway, cook the chicken at 425 for fifteen minutes, take it out, turn it and cook it for another 15. Make sure the juice runs clear when you cut into it.
That's it. You can make the fries or not, or just salad, or coleslaw or anything you like.
If you're in the mood for some really good barfood that's not nearly as bad for you as it tastes, this is the stuff for you.
Double win.
Sometimes when you're trying to eat clean and be healthy you get cravings for things you really cannot have. Like hot wings, fries and ranch, or cinnamon rolls. But the goal is to not give in to those cravings. Though, don't torture yourself. Mr Idiot and I have Saturdays off. We can have a little ice cream, maybe some hamburgers, and we don't get nutso over the smell of McDonald's the rest of the week. I guess the trick is to set yourself a limit--I can have a break day, or meal, or week, and then I have to stick to the plan. It helps stop binge eating on stuff you've been denying yourself and then feeling guilty about it for ages afterwords. At least, that's what works for us. There are lots of great resources on making sure you don't crack and go crazy on a diet.
But, I've gotten off point. I had a craving for the bar food I love (and can't have) so instead of caving and ordering delivery, we made an attempt to recreate the joy of wings and fries without the grease and bad fats.
So, this recipe is kind of labor intensive. There's a few recipes that I combined to get this meal, but you can swap in or out whatever you feel like eating.
I wanted something spicy, and I really wanted finger food, so we made drumsticks and fries and Caesar salad with paleo friendly ranch dressing.
So, this is probably a thing you should start early, because the drumsticks need to marinade. I only marinaded them for an hour, and they were not nearly as spicy as I wanted.
So, this is what you'll need for the drumsticks
However many drumsticks you feel like eating (we made eight)
2 jalapeno peppers, deseeded and cut into chunks
1/4 cup of coconut oil melted
2 tablespoons coconut aminos
4 cloves of garlic peeled
1 tsp ground cumin
juice of 1 lime
1/2 cup cilantro leaves
Blend all of that good stuff together in a food processor. Put the drumsticks in a freezer bag and pour in your spicy marinade. Shake the bag around to coat the drumsticks and stick them in the fridge for anywhere between one and eight hours. (I'd go for more than an hour, let that lime and jalapeno really sink in there.)
While those are marinading, you can prep the sweet potatoes and the dressing.
This dressing, by the way, is awesome. I used the leftovers to dip meatballs in, I used it as veggie dip, it's great.
So, here's the ingredients for the dip/dressing/awesome sauce
1 ripe avocado
3 garlic cloves
1 can of coconut milk
1 tbsp lemon juice
2 tbsp fresh dill
2 tbsp fresh chives
salt and pepper to taste.
Throw all of that in the food processor and blend it all up. I put a hearty squish of sriracha sauce into the mix because I'm a sucker for punishment.
I threw together a salad with some turnip greens and some lettuce that was leftover in the fridge. There were some carrots and...whatever in there, use your imagination.
So! Once your lime chicken is done marinading, make your sweet potato fries. You can get the low down on sweet potato fries from the Idiot Burgers recipe here.
The fries have to go in at 450 and the chicken cooks at 425, so make your choice which one you wanna cook first, it's no big deal.
Put the drumsticks on a wire rack over an oven tray covered in foil.
We don't have a cooling rack, so I used the rack from the toaster oven. Don't judge. Improvise, okay?
Anyway, cook the chicken at 425 for fifteen minutes, take it out, turn it and cook it for another 15. Make sure the juice runs clear when you cut into it.
That's it. You can make the fries or not, or just salad, or coleslaw or anything you like.
If you're in the mood for some really good barfood that's not nearly as bad for you as it tastes, this is the stuff for you.
Saturday, February 15, 2014
Happy Saturday loooovers
Happy Valentine's day (a little late, I grant you) I hope you all had a lovely day, I know these two Idiots did. Mr. Idiot even brought champagne so we could have mimosas. But, this is not where I rub your faces in how much breakfast food I ate yesterday. (It was a LOT by the way) But, I am here to talk about this awesome baked eggplant I made last night. (Don't panic guys, Valentine's day steak dinner photos are coming soon, but I am full of leftover steak and wine, so be happy I'm posting at all.)
Anyway, one of the things I realized was missing in my new paleo delicious lifestyle was some hearty Italian food. There's plenty of awesome recipes for Asian food and burgers and all kinds, but I think Italian is hard to fake because of all that cheese and pasta and...okay, I'm drooling.
But! If you've got a hankering like I did for hearty, meaty yummy Italian goodness, this is stuff for you. And it's pretty easy. And I got to use a new vegetable so score on the experience chart for me!
Anyway, I used ground turkey in this because we didn't have any other ground beef, but you can use beef too.
Preheat the oven to 375 degrees.
You have to slice the eggplant up and "weep" it, which is something I had never heard of until the other night. Slice it, put it in a colander and salt it. Leave it for 20 minutes and it'll leak liquid. (Put a bowl under the colander fyi)
Squish it down a little after the 20 minutes to get any leftover liquid out.
Brush the slices of eggplant with olive oil on both sides and put the eggplant in the oven for 25 minutes.
The time it takes to get the eggplant done is different depending on your oven, so make sure it's crispy on the edges.
Turn the oven down to 350 and heat a pan over medium high heat. I diced up a couple of tomatoes and added a cup of tomato juice.
Let the meat cook through, the turkey only took about ten minutes.
You can layer this however you like, I know eggplant parm isn't usually layered like lasagna, but I only have a little oven dish, so I layered it.
Once the oven is down to 350, put the eggplant in for another fifteen minutes.
I sprinkled parmesan on top (SUE ME GUYS) because it's delicious and we had a little bit still leftover.
Plate, and ta-da! Awesome, filling, Italian amazingness. So satisfying.
Anyway, one of the things I realized was missing in my new paleo delicious lifestyle was some hearty Italian food. There's plenty of awesome recipes for Asian food and burgers and all kinds, but I think Italian is hard to fake because of all that cheese and pasta and...okay, I'm drooling.
But! If you've got a hankering like I did for hearty, meaty yummy Italian goodness, this is stuff for you. And it's pretty easy. And I got to use a new vegetable so score on the experience chart for me!
Anyway, I used ground turkey in this because we didn't have any other ground beef, but you can use beef too.
Preheat the oven to 375 degrees.
You have to slice the eggplant up and "weep" it, which is something I had never heard of until the other night. Slice it, put it in a colander and salt it. Leave it for 20 minutes and it'll leak liquid. (Put a bowl under the colander fyi)
Squish it down a little after the 20 minutes to get any leftover liquid out.
Brush the slices of eggplant with olive oil on both sides and put the eggplant in the oven for 25 minutes.
The time it takes to get the eggplant done is different depending on your oven, so make sure it's crispy on the edges.
Turn the oven down to 350 and heat a pan over medium high heat. I diced up a couple of tomatoes and added a cup of tomato juice.
Let the meat cook through, the turkey only took about ten minutes.
You can layer this however you like, I know eggplant parm isn't usually layered like lasagna, but I only have a little oven dish, so I layered it.
Once the oven is down to 350, put the eggplant in for another fifteen minutes.
I sprinkled parmesan on top (SUE ME GUYS) because it's delicious and we had a little bit still leftover.
Plate, and ta-da! Awesome, filling, Italian amazingness. So satisfying.
Monday, February 10, 2014
Mondays
Man there is something about Mondays that really sucks the life out of me. On Friday I was so amped about yoga and feeling good (and I fit into a skirt that didn't fit a month ago, HOORAY) and the weekend was nice and relaxed and I wake up this morning and I just...cannot be bothered.
I know this is all very first world problem. I'm unemployed, so it's not like I have to drag myself to work, I know that, but sometimes the monotony of being a homemaker (sorry, barf) gets to me. Mondays are perhaps the worst because the weekend is so nice. I get to hang out with Mr. Idiot and we watch 30 Rock and drink wine and goof around and Saturday is break night, so sometimes we have cake, and we can sleep in and make lazy breakfasts. I love the weekends. And Mondays suck because I know I've got five more days of being in the house by myself, just trying to fill up the time. I make schedules for myself during the day to keep me busy so I don't go nuts just sitting on the couch. I know some of you reading this are thinking that I'm crazy and you'd kill for a chance to laze around, but I've been unemployed for a long time. Far, far too long, and trust me, the "staycation" gets old really quick.
Normally I wake up and I'm looking forward to doing yoga and making breakfast and all the stuff I do in the morning but not today. It is grey outside and I am feeling listless. I barely made it through the yoga this morning, and I've got none of that lovely zen buzz I have afterwards. I just want to go back to bed.
I suppose days like this are normal, people have off days and days they don't want to work out and eat right and it's So. Much. Easier just to sit on the couch and nap. But I guess that's the hard part is not letting yourself do that. It's easy to be healthy and active when it feels awesome and you feel great and energized, the part that's really work are the days you don't want to get up and work, when you can barely drag yourself out of bed, let alone onto a treadmill or a yoga mat.
This is a work in progress, being fit and getting back into being a healthy person. For a long time I really was a couch potato with no energy, and it seems logical that sometimes I'll be tempted to slip back into that.
But I do feel a million times better, days like today excepted. I've read online that people do paleo and get these amazing results just from changing their diet. I haven't been that way. I'm more or less the same size, I don't own a scale so I don't know how much I weigh but it's probably about the same. So the weight loss isn't the reason I'm doing this, though the p90x should help with that. I just want to feel better about myself and about my body. Even if my actual body doesn't change, the way I feel about it is changing. That, for me, is the most important thing, changing the way I perceive my own body. Just the feeling that I'm treating it better and working it harder has done wonders for me.
But I still hate Mondays.
I know this is all very first world problem. I'm unemployed, so it's not like I have to drag myself to work, I know that, but sometimes the monotony of being a homemaker (sorry, barf) gets to me. Mondays are perhaps the worst because the weekend is so nice. I get to hang out with Mr. Idiot and we watch 30 Rock and drink wine and goof around and Saturday is break night, so sometimes we have cake, and we can sleep in and make lazy breakfasts. I love the weekends. And Mondays suck because I know I've got five more days of being in the house by myself, just trying to fill up the time. I make schedules for myself during the day to keep me busy so I don't go nuts just sitting on the couch. I know some of you reading this are thinking that I'm crazy and you'd kill for a chance to laze around, but I've been unemployed for a long time. Far, far too long, and trust me, the "staycation" gets old really quick.
Normally I wake up and I'm looking forward to doing yoga and making breakfast and all the stuff I do in the morning but not today. It is grey outside and I am feeling listless. I barely made it through the yoga this morning, and I've got none of that lovely zen buzz I have afterwards. I just want to go back to bed.
I suppose days like this are normal, people have off days and days they don't want to work out and eat right and it's So. Much. Easier just to sit on the couch and nap. But I guess that's the hard part is not letting yourself do that. It's easy to be healthy and active when it feels awesome and you feel great and energized, the part that's really work are the days you don't want to get up and work, when you can barely drag yourself out of bed, let alone onto a treadmill or a yoga mat.
This is a work in progress, being fit and getting back into being a healthy person. For a long time I really was a couch potato with no energy, and it seems logical that sometimes I'll be tempted to slip back into that.
But I do feel a million times better, days like today excepted. I've read online that people do paleo and get these amazing results just from changing their diet. I haven't been that way. I'm more or less the same size, I don't own a scale so I don't know how much I weigh but it's probably about the same. So the weight loss isn't the reason I'm doing this, though the p90x should help with that. I just want to feel better about myself and about my body. Even if my actual body doesn't change, the way I feel about it is changing. That, for me, is the most important thing, changing the way I perceive my own body. Just the feeling that I'm treating it better and working it harder has done wonders for me.
But I still hate Mondays.
Monday, January 27, 2014
Monday salad: extra easy because I'm extra tired
It's nearly 9pm here at la casa des Idiots, and I'm finally sitting on my bum. FINALLY.
Today Mr Idiot had the day off, so we used our Monday much more productively than last week (in which we binge-watched Netflix and ate bacon) and ran all of the errands. ALL. THE. ERRANDS. We prayed at the alter of the Army Gods (aka the Soldier Support center) to get some of the cost of the move back, (YAY MONEY!), we visited Mr. Idiots long-ago-neglected UPS box only to find out that they only keep mail for thirty days before they return it to sender. And his has been closed for at least three months. Oh well. We also needed to pick up some groceries, but it's my least favorite time of the month, which is the time three days before payday where we have maybe a $60 buffer, and we're all out of almost everything. My fridge is a sad, mostly empty mess right now, and it gives me a big sad. But! We're trying this new thing where we space out our bills so we don't get completely drained by the 3rd of the month, so here's hoping come February we won't have these shitty three and four day periods where we've got zilch in the bank. To make that long story short, we need some more food, but we had to really scratch out what we've got left. So, thirty bucks poorer, we've got enough nosh to see us through until payday.
We even remembered to return my (shockingly) overdue library books, which I think they've written off as lost by this point.
By the time we got home, I was ready to cook dinner and just flop on the couch, but nope. Mr. Idiot has plans for his Monday and they've gotta happen. We spent almost an hour moving a couch from the spare room into the living room, and moving the pull out couch into the spare room. I know that sounds like no biggie, but the movers tried to get that sucker into the spare room and failed. The people whose job it is to make things fit through doors couldn't get it, so these two Idiots figured they'd try. Yeah, pro tip, if the movers don't do it, don't try it yourself. Eventually we got it through the door with only minimal doorframe damage. I was sweaty, grouchy, had pulled something in my back, stabbed by invisible couch nails, and had yelled at Mr. Idiot at least six times to NOT DROP THE COUCH ON ME, the last thing I wanted to do was actually cook dinner.
But, what did I do? I went and made some awesome salad thanks to Michelle Tam over at nomnompaleo and as luck would have it, it was easy as hell. I did make a few modifications to her recipe, because I'm lazy and I need to improvise sometimes...
Asian nut salad
This salad is awesome because it makes enough for both of us to be full, and to have leftovers for our lunches tomorrow. And just let me say, Mr. Idiot eats A LOT for both lunch and dinner, so the fact that there's leftovers is saying something.
For the sauce, you'll need:
2 tbsp almond butter (I used peanut, sue me)
1 tbsp fish sauce (I'm pretty sure you could sub coconut aminos for this and be okay)
1 tbsp white vinegar.
1 tbsp coconut oil
2 tbsp applesauce (unsweetened)
1/2 tbsp garlic chili paste
For the salad:
2 chicken breasts
1 whole head of romaine lettuce
3 or 4 carrots, grated/julienned/sliced however
2 apples, sliced
This salad has shredded chicken in it, and before we got a hand mixer/food processor (THANKS MUM <3 ) we had to shred chicken by hand (like savages). So, my advice is boil the chicken breasts while you're doing everything else to cook them. If you don't have a mixer or anything, you can shred by hand once the breasts are cool, or use two forks to rip it to bits. Your call. IF however you just got God's greatest invention, the food processor, you're fine.
So, put the breasts on on boil and start grating/julienning/slicing your carrots. I used four medium carrots for this, but use your judgement. Whatever ratio of carrots to lettuce to apples you want is good.
Put your carrots in a big bowl.
Chop up the apples. I didn't peel them because I love apple skins, but that's totally your call. Slice them into eighths and then in half long-wise, so they've still got some chunk to them and toss them in the bowl with the carrots.
Hopefully, your chicken is done boiling, so let it cool if you're using your hands, or cut it into quarters and process that bitch.
Wash off the lettuce and rip it into bite-sized bits. I hate the giant...spines, whatever they are on lettuce, so I just ripped off the leafy parts.
Throw that into the bowl and mix it all up.
Combine all the ingredients for the sauce and pop it in the microwave for 30 seconds to melt the coconut oil and soften the almond butter. Mix all that goodness together, pour over the salad and serve.
I was too damn tired to take any pictures after I'd added the chicken or the dressing or plated it, because I was so excited to eat and sit down.
This blog entry took longer to write than the salad took to make, so it's AWESOME when your feet hurt and you're hangry.
Today Mr Idiot had the day off, so we used our Monday much more productively than last week (in which we binge-watched Netflix and ate bacon) and ran all of the errands. ALL. THE. ERRANDS. We prayed at the alter of the Army Gods (aka the Soldier Support center) to get some of the cost of the move back, (YAY MONEY!), we visited Mr. Idiots long-ago-neglected UPS box only to find out that they only keep mail for thirty days before they return it to sender. And his has been closed for at least three months. Oh well. We also needed to pick up some groceries, but it's my least favorite time of the month, which is the time three days before payday where we have maybe a $60 buffer, and we're all out of almost everything. My fridge is a sad, mostly empty mess right now, and it gives me a big sad. But! We're trying this new thing where we space out our bills so we don't get completely drained by the 3rd of the month, so here's hoping come February we won't have these shitty three and four day periods where we've got zilch in the bank. To make that long story short, we need some more food, but we had to really scratch out what we've got left. So, thirty bucks poorer, we've got enough nosh to see us through until payday.
We even remembered to return my (shockingly) overdue library books, which I think they've written off as lost by this point.
By the time we got home, I was ready to cook dinner and just flop on the couch, but nope. Mr. Idiot has plans for his Monday and they've gotta happen. We spent almost an hour moving a couch from the spare room into the living room, and moving the pull out couch into the spare room. I know that sounds like no biggie, but the movers tried to get that sucker into the spare room and failed. The people whose job it is to make things fit through doors couldn't get it, so these two Idiots figured they'd try. Yeah, pro tip, if the movers don't do it, don't try it yourself. Eventually we got it through the door with only minimal doorframe damage. I was sweaty, grouchy, had pulled something in my back, stabbed by invisible couch nails, and had yelled at Mr. Idiot at least six times to NOT DROP THE COUCH ON ME, the last thing I wanted to do was actually cook dinner.
But, what did I do? I went and made some awesome salad thanks to Michelle Tam over at nomnompaleo and as luck would have it, it was easy as hell. I did make a few modifications to her recipe, because I'm lazy and I need to improvise sometimes...
Asian nut salad
This salad is awesome because it makes enough for both of us to be full, and to have leftovers for our lunches tomorrow. And just let me say, Mr. Idiot eats A LOT for both lunch and dinner, so the fact that there's leftovers is saying something.
For the sauce, you'll need:
2 tbsp almond butter (I used peanut, sue me)
1 tbsp fish sauce (I'm pretty sure you could sub coconut aminos for this and be okay)
1 tbsp white vinegar.
1 tbsp coconut oil
2 tbsp applesauce (unsweetened)
1/2 tbsp garlic chili paste
For the salad:
2 chicken breasts
1 whole head of romaine lettuce
3 or 4 carrots, grated/julienned/sliced however
2 apples, sliced
This salad has shredded chicken in it, and before we got a hand mixer/food processor (THANKS MUM <3 ) we had to shred chicken by hand (like savages). So, my advice is boil the chicken breasts while you're doing everything else to cook them. If you don't have a mixer or anything, you can shred by hand once the breasts are cool, or use two forks to rip it to bits. Your call. IF however you just got God's greatest invention, the food processor, you're fine.
So, put the breasts on on boil and start grating/julienning/slicing your carrots. I used four medium carrots for this, but use your judgement. Whatever ratio of carrots to lettuce to apples you want is good.
 |
| A mandoline makes your life easy |
Put your carrots in a big bowl.
Chop up the apples. I didn't peel them because I love apple skins, but that's totally your call. Slice them into eighths and then in half long-wise, so they've still got some chunk to them and toss them in the bowl with the carrots.
Hopefully, your chicken is done boiling, so let it cool if you're using your hands, or cut it into quarters and process that bitch.
Wash off the lettuce and rip it into bite-sized bits. I hate the giant...spines, whatever they are on lettuce, so I just ripped off the leafy parts.
Throw that into the bowl and mix it all up.
Combine all the ingredients for the sauce and pop it in the microwave for 30 seconds to melt the coconut oil and soften the almond butter. Mix all that goodness together, pour over the salad and serve.
I was too damn tired to take any pictures after I'd added the chicken or the dressing or plated it, because I was so excited to eat and sit down.
This blog entry took longer to write than the salad took to make, so it's AWESOME when your feet hurt and you're hangry.
Sunday, January 26, 2014
Breakfast of champions
Breakfast is a pretty easy meal for paleo, because it's basically bacon and eggs every morning, no sweat. Plus, that much protein in the morning means I'm not hungry again during the day until nearly three. As much as I love bacon and eggs in all its permutations (soft-boiled eggs, hard boiled eggs, scrambled, fried) sometimes it's nice to mix things up. I've been experimenting with paleo pancakes, but with zero success so far. There's tons of recipes online, but mine just turn into mushy puddles.
So, we're sticking with egg-based recipes so far, but I'll keep experimenting with non-egg breakfast foods.
Anyway, this Mexican inspired brekkie is an amalgamation of a few recipes I found online, and whatever the hell was in my fridge. I think I'm getting the hang of throwing things together and getting pretty solid results.
I made this recipe again this weekend for Mr. Idiot, and improved it vastly, but...I didn't take any pictures for you, so use your damn imagination.
Breakfast of Champions
This recipe kept me full right up until dinner last Sunday, and then again for breakfast and lunch the next day. So it will (in theory) feed four.
1 sweet potato, diced
1/2 bell pepper diced
1/2 onion, diced
2 cloves of garlic, minced (or 1 tbsp pre-minced stuff)
2 tbsp coconut oil
handful of spinach (Or any other filler you like, spring onions, broccoli, anything you like)
2 roma tomatoes (you can use any tomatoes, this is just what was in the fridge)
7 eggs
Bacon. As I've said before, you can NEVER have too much bacon, I made 4 strips each
Chop everything, all the veggies get diced up and thrown in together.
Once the veggies are chopped, add coconut oil to large skillet, and add garlic over medium heat.
Once the pan is hot and the garlic starts to brown add in chopped vegetables. Don't add the spinach yet.
Once the sweet potatoes are soft to the touch (Use a spoon, not your hands, dur) add in the spinach and lower the heat to medium low.
Crack the eggs directly into the skillet and mix everything together until it's all a nice big lumpy mess.
Serve with bacon and some sliced and salted avocado. Feel free to add salsa, hot sauce, whatever you like.
Alternatively, substitute the bacon for pork sausage mixed in with the eggs. I added two big spoonfuls of salsa to the scramble, and it was SO MUCH better the second time around. I think the fat from the pork sausage really helped bring all the vegetable flavors out.
So. Good.
I'm now officially on the lookout for paleo tortillas, so I can make breakfast burritos with this lovely, delicious mess.
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Candy bacon baby
This was all Mr. Idiots idea. I take no credit, only the responsibility of writing this up.
Mr Idiot is a big fan of Epic Meal Time, as am I, though one too many videos and I get a bit of a funny tummy.
Like Harley says in the video, you've seen it in your fucking dreams, here is how to do candy bacon.
Take two parts brown sugar and one part cinnamon and mix then together in a bowl.
Mr Idiot is a big fan of Epic Meal Time, as am I, though one too many videos and I get a bit of a funny tummy.
Like Harley says in the video, you've seen it in your fucking dreams, here is how to do candy bacon.
 |
| It's beautiful, isn't it... |
.
Get your bacon (Mr. Idiot and I used a whole pack, so follow your heart. Ignore what your arteries say) and lay it in a tin-foil-covered baking tray.
Heat your oven up to 385 fahrenheit and sprinkle the cinnamon sugar mix over the bacon. Make sure there's about an inch between each strip, or your cinnamon sugar will bubble into a giant slab. I mean, if that's what your after, please share the results. Otherwise, for ease of snacking purposes, leave a little room.
Put the bacon in the oven for about ten minutes.
Once your ten minutes is up, take the bacon out, drain the grease, flip over the bacon and re-sprinkle
 |
| Here you see Mr. Idiot demonstrating the correct technique. |
Mr. Idiot's beloved EMT guys say to put the bacon back in for another ten, but our first batch burned when we did that, so put it in for five and see how it's looking. Add time as you need it.
Once the other side is cooked, put the bacon on a plate (cover the plate in tin foil so the bacony goodness doesn't stick) and put it in the fridge for a few minutes.
Mr Idiot and I used this cooling time to spike a bottle of eggnog. Use your time wisely.
Take out of the fridge, and enjoy.
Monday, December 9, 2013
Toffee apples
Today we're going to talk about toffee apples. For those of you looking for an update on how the meal plan is coming along, that's coming up, with a few modifications. But for now, toffee apples.
Our double boiler is pretty shallow so we had to get a spoon and pour the melted toffee over the apples to get them completely covered, but to get a nice smooth coating on the apple rotate it in the toffee. While the toffee is still hot, you can dunk the apple in any toppings you want. We did two plain, two with chocolate sprinkles, two with walnuts and two with pecans.
We'll definitely be doing these again. They were really easy to make, really inexpensive, and really fun. It was nice to be in the kitchen together, since I do most of the cooking. Unless it's Sunday brunchtime, and then Mr. Idiot has the floor. The nice thing about these is that they'll last up for a long time in the fridge. We made these about a week ago, and the apples are still nice and crisp. And if these two idiots can do it, it's guaranteed that you and your idiot, or your kids can do these together and eat them all week (if they last that long!)
I've never made toffee apples before (or caramel or candy apples), but I love them. They're one of my favorite season-specific foods, though I don't know why they aren't widely available all year round. They should be.
Anyway, Mr. Idiot and I attempted our very own toffee apples over the weekend, and they came out visually subpar, but very, very tasty.
I wanted to make our own toffee, but the Mister said that would be too much work, so we used toffee bits instead, which did end up being pretty easy.
Thankfully we were gifted a little double boiler so we didn't have to rig one up out of our stuff, but if you aren't lucky enough to have generous in-laws, this is a handy article about how to make one of your very own at home, courtesy of the Unsophisticook.
Anyway.
We realized after we'd started the process we didn't really know what we were doing, and after some rapid Googling brought up no one specific way to do toffee apples, we just followed our hearts.
Melt the toffee bits in the double boiler. This takes longer than you think—unless you actually know what you're doing—if you're like me and have never actually used a double boiler before (and maybe thought those metal bowls were for salad or something when you unpacked). My recommendation is get the water boiling, add the toffee bits and then go make yourself some tea. You'll have around fifteen minutes to kill.
Somewhere in that fifteen minutes, pull the stems off your apples and stick skewers through the core. Make sure they don't come out the other end. We used bamboo kebab skewers, but we had to use four per apple because they were pretty flimsy.
I don't know if it was the toffee bits we used, or if it's just our impatience, but we couldn't get the toffee to completely melt. There were bits of toffee bit floating around after twenty minutes of melting, so we just went ahead and started dunking.
 |
| It melted a bit more than this, but you get the idea. Lumpy. |
Our double boiler is pretty shallow so we had to get a spoon and pour the melted toffee over the apples to get them completely covered, but to get a nice smooth coating on the apple rotate it in the toffee. While the toffee is still hot, you can dunk the apple in any toppings you want. We did two plain, two with chocolate sprinkles, two with walnuts and two with pecans.
The plain ones came out just fine, a tad lumpy because of the stubbornly unmelted toffee, but looking okay.
Through a bit of trial and error we discovered that if you'd like your extra toppings to stay on the apple and not slide off into a puddle of melted goo, you have to put the apples directly into the fridge so the toffee hardens.
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| Case in point. |
Happy cooking.
Thursday, December 5, 2013
Meal planning like a champ
I've been doing lots of Googling lately about first time cooking, being married, how to utilize your kitchen and bla bla bla. Almost everyone says that meal planning makes your life easier, and it makes sense. You know in advance what you'll be making every night so there's no "what are we having tonight" moment while you stare helplessly into the fridge.
I've been meaning to get around to planning dinner out in advance, but we moved in two weeks ago, and the priority in the last 14 days has been to get everything out of the boxes, start making our house look like ours and get settled. Well, now we are settled, though making the house look like us is still pending. We were a bit generous with how much money we'd have left after bills, so some of the things we were hoping to buy (like a dresser, side tables, TV stand, picture frames, lamps...) have to get pushed back. That smaller budget is part of the reason today is make a meal plan day. We're on the last stretch of the groceries we bought when we moved in, and with limited money to restock until next Friday, a plan didn't seem like such a bad idea.
So, for your reading pleasure, here is our dinner menu for the next seven days. I'm not quite at the 'whip-up-your-own-recipe' cooking level, so these are all links to recipes I found online; credit where credit's due. I'll inevitably be tweaking these as the week goes on, but that info is for later posts.
Tonight: Chicken salad. Mine won't be shredded chicken, mostly because I have no idea how to do that...
Friday: Dijon pork chops. I made these last week and Mr. Idiot loved them, so I'll make sure to take pictures this time and give you hungry lot the deets.
Saturday: Tacos. It's Saturday, which means it's time to get crazy, so I'm making this one up as I go.
Sunday: Amish fried chicken with rice (or maybe potatoes)
Monday: Spaghetti and meatballs. I might go out on a limb on this and make my own sauce. We'll see.
Tuesday: Chicken nugget spaghetti Don't judge me on my use of frozen nugs, okay? You gotta use what you got, and I've got chicken nuggets.
Wednesday: Cottage pie. I'm really excited about trying this. My mother makes a mean cottage pie, so we'll see how mine measures up.
Thursday: Mustardy pork and apples. I know this is a lot like the dijon pork chops, but I'm adding apples this time, and I'm going to try these with it instead of mashed potatoes.
So there you have it. I've eked out the supply pretty much as far as it will go, and according to these calculations, we'll have exactly 1/2 a bag of nuggets before Friday. But then it's shopping day! My favorite day!
Stay tuned to find out if the chicken salad is enough for Mr. Idiot's capacious stomach, or if he ends up making himself a sandwich.
Happy cooking!
 |
| I feel you Ein. |
So, for your reading pleasure, here is our dinner menu for the next seven days. I'm not quite at the 'whip-up-your-own-recipe' cooking level, so these are all links to recipes I found online; credit where credit's due. I'll inevitably be tweaking these as the week goes on, but that info is for later posts.
Tonight: Chicken salad. Mine won't be shredded chicken, mostly because I have no idea how to do that...
Friday: Dijon pork chops. I made these last week and Mr. Idiot loved them, so I'll make sure to take pictures this time and give you hungry lot the deets.
Saturday: Tacos. It's Saturday, which means it's time to get crazy, so I'm making this one up as I go.
Sunday: Amish fried chicken with rice (or maybe potatoes)
Monday: Spaghetti and meatballs. I might go out on a limb on this and make my own sauce. We'll see.
Tuesday: Chicken nugget spaghetti Don't judge me on my use of frozen nugs, okay? You gotta use what you got, and I've got chicken nuggets.
Wednesday: Cottage pie. I'm really excited about trying this. My mother makes a mean cottage pie, so we'll see how mine measures up.
Thursday: Mustardy pork and apples. I know this is a lot like the dijon pork chops, but I'm adding apples this time, and I'm going to try these with it instead of mashed potatoes.
So there you have it. I've eked out the supply pretty much as far as it will go, and according to these calculations, we'll have exactly 1/2 a bag of nuggets before Friday. But then it's shopping day! My favorite day!
Stay tuned to find out if the chicken salad is enough for Mr. Idiot's capacious stomach, or if he ends up making himself a sandwich.
Happy cooking!
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