How paleo is enough paleo? Idiot-Proof Paleo pt 1

Hello all, and welcome to the part one of the Idiot-Proof Paleo Plan!
So, I'm going to post on the Facebook page to find out what kinds of questions you guys have, but we'll see what kind of responses I get. Until I get a feel for what the people want, I'll be answering some of the questions I had that I had a hard time finding the answer to when I started. I'm not an expert guys, I'm on this journey too. I've been paleo nearly three months now, so I like to think I'm past the brand new beginning phase.  One of my biggest questions when I started going paleo was how paleo I really had to be.
What I mean is, do I really have to buy coconut aminos instead of soy sauce, because you're not supposed to eat soy?
Do I have to go out of my way to replace milk with coconut or almond milk?
What happens if I can't find almond butter, is peanut butter okay?

For a while I felt kind of guilty about not being 100% paleo. I really wanted to go all out on this, but there are two things that stood in my way (and probably will stand in yours too). Price and availability.

Price is a pretty self explanatory problem. Paleo can be expensive. Organic food, free range eggs, grass fed meat, that doesn't come cheap. The trick to this is to figure out what's really worth spending the money on and what it's okay to scrimp on. For me, organic fruits and veg were something that I just couldn't justify. A bag of grapes at the on-post grocery store costs me around three bucks. Organic grapes cost more than five bucks. That's almost twice the cost, that's just too much. Also, to be honest, organic produce just doesn't last as long in the fridge as non-organic food does. I know that's probably desirable, you know, less preservatives or whatever, but we do two grocery trips a month, and I need that produce to last or we're wasting tons of money. Also, there's a lot of stigma surrounding organic food and GMO's and how much better organic food actually is for you than normal food. Personally, I don't think there's that much in it. I know that's practically blasphemy for the paleo crowd, but I've had all organic fruit and veg and it taste the same, looks the same, cooks the same. If you've got the extra $100 a paycheck to spend on organic produce then by all means, go ahead. I'm not casting a judgement on eating organic. But for me, for the Two Idiots, and for a lot of people I know living on a fixed income, it's just not feasible. Meat is another animal entirely. Pun intended. Meat is the most expensive thing you'll be buying at the grocery store. If you want to buy grass fed/organic/free range meat you can pretty safely double the cost of your meat budget. If you're not worried about that, then good for you, buy all of the grass fed meat! But, probably, you are worried about spending that much money, which is why you're here. If there is grass fed stuff on sale, buy it. I also almost always buy free range eggs. They're only slightly more expensive than cage raised eggs, and we eat a TON of eggs, so I can feel good about that. I try my best not to buy from companies like Tyson, who is notorious for factory farming and really terrible conditions. If the animal has had a miserable life, I don't want to buy that meat. It's also probably not as good for you as an animal that has been raised for all or most of it's life free-range. So, do a little research and buy what is the least bad. I know that sounds like a cop out, but spending $20 for a dozen chicken breasts vs $12 is hard to argue. Don't beat yourself up because your fridge doesn't look like a frontiersman's wet dream, just try to buy the best you can.
For other things, like coconut aminos and coconut flour and things like that, that's kind of a different story. I still use soy sauce and Sriracha for reasons I'll discuss below. But for things like almond butter or coconut flour, it really is worth it to spend the extra and follow the rules. These types of...pantry things don't need to be replaced as often as the produce and meat, so you're only going to rack up a bill maybe once every month or two, depending on how much you use them. I love love love coconut flour, so I'm more than happy to spend $6 for a pound of it. Bt maybe you don't do much baking, or much frying. You probably don't need coconut flour. If you're a nut-butter fiend though, like Mr. Idiot, then spend the extra for almond butter, or sun butter or cashew butter. (If you're feeling super thrifty, you can make that yourself.) Deciding what you want to spend on is really up to your tastes. So before you go blowing a whole paycheck on paleo baking goodies, think about it. Are you really going to use it? Like ghee for instance. I don't use a whole lot of butter in my cooking, so spending extra for ghee just isn't worth it. I just use the regular stuff. That's what you should consider.
TL;DR: Is the money I'm spending on this going to be worth it, or is this going to be something that slowly goes bad in the back of the fridge?.

This is a problem no matter how much money you have to spend. It's also one of the most frustrating things about going paleo. If you live in a major city, this probably isn't an issue. Hell, if you live in really awesome cities they have paleo restaurants you can go to. Unfortunately, not all of us can live in the big city. Some of us (the Idiots included) live out in the boonies. Or outside an army base, whatever. This is something I've had to deal with a lot because we primarily shop at the on-post grocery, and the best alternatives are Piggly Wiggly and WalMart who's selection isn't much better. I've had a hard time finding stuff like almond butter, which should be super common. If you're struggling to find really specific things (again, coconut aminos, looking at you) my advice is don't sweat it. If you're committed to finding something, then use Amazon.com. I found some paleo wraps that I loved and for pretty cheap. But sometimes you just can't find what you're looking for. I'd kill if I could find myself some paleo bread that I didn't have to pore over the ingredients to identify. 

The problem I had in the beginning is I felt I wasn't doing a good enough job being paleo, especially not good enough to justify blogging about it and giving other people advice about it. But, my advice to you is just relax. You don't have to be paleo 100% of the time. It's all right to have a break day during the week, it's okay to occasionally have a sandwich or some chicken wings. The world is not going to come crashing down around you, and you are definitely not a paleo 'failure' for not being perfect. If you can't find coconut flour, use almond flour, it's easier to find. If you can't find coconut aminos, just use soy sauce (or fish sauce in a pinch.) Part of the fun in paleo is figuring out new ways to make old recipes. It's pretty gratifying when I can make something like eggplant Parmesan, and Mr. Idiot says it's better than the real stuff. That's the best part of paleo, and that's the part I think is the most important. This shouldn't feel like a 'diet' this should just feel like an adjustment to your lifestyle. After a while, it really becomes second nature. 

Thanks for reading guys! Please let me know in the comments what else you'd like covered in the Idiot-Proof Paleo guide!

Idiot Proof Paleo Shopping

Alright, you asked for it, and it's here, the Idiot Proof guide to your first paleo shop. I know I said I'd have it up last week, but the Mother Idiot was here and we were busy enjoying the sun (that finally made an appearance and warmed up the godforsaken iced over hellscape of NC).
So, it's here now. This is a complete list of everything you'll need for your first shop. I'm going to get another printable list up soon to show you what my weekly grocery list looks like, because it isn't nearly as extensive as this. Next weeks list will also have amounts of what I'm buying and a breakdown of where the food goes and how many meals I get out of it. I hope you guys like this, because this lil ole' blog is turning into a full-time thing, what with all the designing I'm doing.
Now, this list is also for two people. If you're a solo paleo eater, you can probably knock off some of the veggies and a few of the meats and still be okay. A lot of this is trial and error, and I hate to break it to you, but the first few weeks you may find yourself not eating things in time and throwing them away. I know that's awful, and it made me super angry because I absolutely detest wasting food, but until you figure out exactly what your individual needs are, you just have to suck it up. Or buy less and make more trips to the grocery store. Mr. Idiot and I share a car, so multiple grocery trips are a huge pain in the butt.
Tell me what you think, tell me if there's anything missing, and as always, feel free to voice your opinion in the comments!

Greasy bar food, paleo style

So, if you're anything like me ( and if you're reading, I assume you are) you love yourself some tasty, greasy finger food. I love dive bars, partly because the beer is always cheap, but also becasue the food is always good and spicy and extra greasy, and I can eat it with my fingers and no one will judge me.
Double win.
Sometimes when you're trying to eat clean and be healthy you get cravings for things you really cannot have. Like hot wings, fries and ranch, or cinnamon rolls. But the goal is to not give in to those cravings. Though, don't torture yourself. Mr Idiot and I have Saturdays off. We can have a little ice cream, maybe some hamburgers, and we don't get nutso over the smell of McDonald's the rest of the week. I guess the trick is to set yourself a limit--I can have a break day, or meal, or week, and then I have to stick to the plan. It helps stop binge eating on stuff you've been denying yourself and then feeling guilty about it for ages afterwords. At least, that's what works for us. There are lots of great resources on making sure you don't crack and go crazy on a diet.
But, I've gotten off point. I had a craving for the bar food I love (and can't have) so instead of caving and ordering delivery, we made an attempt to recreate the joy of wings and fries without the grease and bad fats.
So, this recipe is kind of labor intensive. There's a few recipes that I combined to get this meal, but you can swap in or out whatever you feel like eating.
I wanted something spicy, and I really wanted finger food, so we made drumsticks and fries and Caesar salad with paleo friendly ranch dressing.
So, this is probably a thing you should start early, because the drumsticks need to marinade. I only marinaded them for an hour, and they were not nearly as spicy as I wanted.

So, this is what you'll need for the drumsticks
However many drumsticks you feel like eating (we made eight)
2 jalapeno peppers, deseeded and cut into chunks
1/4 cup of coconut oil melted
2 tablespoons coconut aminos
4 cloves of garlic peeled
1 tsp ground cumin
juice of 1 lime
1/2 cup cilantro leaves

Blend all of that good stuff together in a food processor. Put the drumsticks in a freezer bag and pour in your spicy marinade. Shake the bag around to coat the drumsticks and stick them in the fridge for anywhere between one and eight hours. (I'd go for more than an hour, let that lime and jalapeno really sink in there.)

While those are marinading, you can prep the sweet potatoes and the dressing.

This dressing, by the way, is awesome. I used the leftovers to dip meatballs in, I used it as veggie dip, it's great.
So, here's the ingredients for the dip/dressing/awesome sauce

1 ripe avocado
3 garlic cloves
1 can of coconut milk
1 tbsp lemon juice
2 tbsp fresh dill
2 tbsp fresh chives
salt and pepper to taste.

Throw all of that in the food processor and blend it all up. I put a hearty squish of sriracha sauce into the mix because I'm a sucker for punishment.

I threw together a salad with some turnip greens and some lettuce that was leftover in the fridge. There were some carrots and...whatever in there, use your imagination.

So! Once your lime chicken is done marinading, make your sweet potato fries. You can get the low down on sweet potato fries from the Idiot Burgers recipe here.

The fries have to go in at 450 and the chicken cooks at 425, so make your choice which one you wanna cook first, it's no big deal.

Put the drumsticks on a wire rack over an oven tray covered in foil.
We don't have a cooling rack, so I used the rack from the toaster oven. Don't judge. Improvise, okay?

Anyway, cook the chicken at 425 for fifteen minutes, take it out, turn it and cook it for another 15. Make sure the juice runs clear when you cut into it.

That's it. You can make the fries or not, or just salad, or coleslaw or anything you like.

If you're in the mood for some really good barfood that's not nearly as bad for you as it tastes, this is the stuff for you.

Happy Saturday loooovers

Happy Valentine's day (a little late, I grant you) I hope you all had a lovely day, I know these two Idiots did. Mr. Idiot even brought champagne so we could have mimosas. But, this is not where I rub your faces in how much breakfast food I ate yesterday. (It was a LOT by the way) But, I am here to talk about this awesome baked eggplant I made last night. (Don't panic guys, Valentine's day steak dinner photos are coming soon, but I am full of leftover steak and wine, so be happy I'm posting at all.)

Anyway, one of the things I realized was missing in my new paleo delicious lifestyle was some hearty Italian food. There's plenty of awesome recipes for Asian food and burgers and all kinds, but I think Italian is hard to fake because of all that cheese and pasta and...okay, I'm drooling.
But! If you've got a hankering like I did for hearty, meaty yummy Italian goodness, this is stuff for you. And it's pretty easy. And I got to use a new vegetable so score on the experience chart for me!

Anyway, I used ground turkey in this because we didn't have any other ground beef, but you can use beef too.

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees.

You have to slice the eggplant up and "weep" it, which is something I had never heard of until the other night. Slice it, put it in a colander and salt it. Leave it for 20 minutes and it'll leak liquid. (Put a bowl under the colander fyi)

Squish it down a little after the 20 minutes to get any leftover liquid out.

Brush the slices of eggplant with olive oil on both sides and put the eggplant in the oven for 25 minutes.

The time it takes to get the eggplant done is different depending on your oven, so make sure it's crispy on the edges.

Turn the oven down to 350 and heat a pan over medium high heat. I diced up a couple of tomatoes and added a cup of tomato juice.

Let the meat cook through, the turkey only took about ten minutes.

You can layer this however you like, I know eggplant parm isn't usually layered like lasagna, but I only have a little oven dish, so I layered it.

Once the oven is down to 350, put the eggplant in for another fifteen minutes.

I sprinkled parmesan on top (SUE ME GUYS) because it's delicious and we had a little bit still leftover.

Plate, and ta-da! Awesome, filling, Italian amazingness. So satisfying.

Winter wonderland dinner to warm your belly

It has been COLD here in North Carolina guys. And I know that some of you must be from the ice-swept lands of Kansas or Montana where there are like ten inches of snow a day, but this is the South. It is not supposed to be snowy here. We got three inches of snow on Tuesday. Three inches! The high was like 20 degrees. Our house and my wardrobe are not equipped to handle those kind of temperatures.

We did build a tiny snowman and make snow angels though. That was pretty rad, I can't remember the last time I actually played in the snow.

So, Mr Idiot and I needed to whip up something nice and hearty to keep us toasty. And so we did. The only problem is that my go-to recipes for heart meals almost always involve potatoes or pasta, both of which we're not allowed to eat. So, we came up with a solution.

This recipe is a personal favorite because it utilizes what I think is one of the world's least recognized vegetables, the parsnip. I absolutely adore parsnips. My dad makes them at Christmas and he roasts them and they are crispy and crunchy and just the right amount of sweet and omg. So. Fricken. Good. So when I saw them on special I couldn't help but buy some. Mr. Idiot had never even heard of a parsnip before, so this was the perfect introduction.

Baked salmon and root veggie hash

This is super easy to whip up, and following the theme of most of my recipes lately, was a very efficient way to clean out some straggler vegetables in preparation for the Great Fridge Restocking of 2014.

4 parsnips, peeled

3 carrots, peeled

4 strips of bacon, diced.

3 fillets of salmon

Ground sage

salt and pepper

Dried lemon peel

I found some asparagus spears at the bottom of the crisper that look like they were about to be done, so we grilled those up as well, but you can add any other veggies to this as you like.

Line an oven tray with tin foil and preheat the oven 375 degrees.

We didn't really measure out the seasoning, just add enough until the top of the fillet is pretty well covered. If I had to guess I'd say on each fillet ½ tbsp sage, ½ tbsp lemon peel, and be liberal with the salt and pepper.

Pop in the oven and bake for 40 minutes, or until the salmon is flaky.

Peel your carrots and parsnips and then grate them into a bowl. I just used the peeler and peeled strips off until I had little nubby centers left.

In a large skillet over med-high heat, melt coconut oil and add carrots and parsnips. Stir the hash occasionally.

After about seven minutes on the heat, add in the bacon. Stir until the bacon is cooked. Once your bacon is done, lower the heat and leave the hash in the skillet to keep it warm.

Once the hash was done cooking, we grilled the asparagus with a bit of salt and pepper. 

Cut the woody ends off the asparagus. Ours were perhaps on their last legs, so we cut most of the ends off and had the spears. 

Plate, and serve. Hey presto, delicious hearty noms.

 

Breakfast of champions

Breakfast is a pretty easy meal for paleo, because it's basically bacon and eggs every morning, no sweat. Plus, that much protein in the morning means I'm not hungry again during the day until nearly three. As much as I love bacon and eggs in all its permutations (soft-boiled eggs, hard boiled eggs, scrambled, fried) sometimes it's nice to mix things up. I've been experimenting with paleo pancakes, but with zero success so far. There's tons of recipes online, but mine just turn into mushy puddles. 

So, we're sticking with egg-based recipes so far, but I'll keep experimenting with non-egg breakfast foods. 

Anyway, this Mexican inspired brekkie is an amalgamation of a few recipes I found online, and whatever the hell was in my fridge. I think I'm getting the hang of throwing things together and getting pretty solid results. 

I made this recipe again this weekend for Mr. Idiot, and improved it vastly, but...I didn't take any pictures for you, so use your damn imagination. 

Breakfast of Champions

This recipe kept me full right up until dinner last Sunday, and then again for breakfast and lunch the next day. So it will (in theory) feed four.

1 sweet potato, diced

1/2 bell pepper diced

1/2 onion, diced

2 cloves of garlic, minced (or 1 tbsp pre-minced stuff)

2 tbsp coconut oil

handful of spinach (Or any other filler you like, spring onions, broccoli, anything you like)

2 roma tomatoes (you can use any tomatoes, this is just what was in the fridge)

7 eggs

Bacon. As I've said before, you can NEVER have too much bacon, I made 4 strips each

Chop everything, all the veggies get diced up and thrown in together.

Once the veggies are chopped, add coconut oil to large skillet, and add garlic over medium heat. 

Once the pan is hot and the garlic starts to brown add in chopped vegetables. Don't add the spinach yet. 

Once the sweet potatoes are soft to the touch (Use a spoon, not your hands, dur) add in the spinach and lower the heat to medium low. 

Crack the eggs directly into the skillet and mix everything together until it's all a nice big lumpy mess. 

Serve with bacon and some sliced and salted avocado. Feel free to add salsa, hot sauce, whatever you like. 

Alternatively, substitute the bacon for pork sausage mixed in with the eggs. I added two big spoonfuls of salsa to the scramble, and it was SO MUCH better the second time around. I think the fat from the pork sausage really helped bring all the vegetable flavors out. 

So. Good. 

I'm now officially on the lookout for paleo tortillas, so I can make breakfast burritos with this lovely, delicious mess. 

Idiot burgers w/ the wrong lettuce

Happy (Very, very) belated MLK day everyone! I hope you used your day off wisely like Mr Idiot and I did.

I mean, watching IT Crowd and Fringe all day on the couch is wise right? Right?

Well, whatever, judgeypants, we made some pretty damn tasty burgers too, so there.

I've been longing for a good burger for a while, and I'm going to have to seriously investigate some paleo bread options, so if you've got suggestions, send them my way. But, as I was browsing the internet wondering what the hell I was going to eat, as is my wont, I kept finding beautiful, cheesy, delicious looking pictures of burgers (thanks Tumblr, geez) and figured we could throw something together.

And so was the born Idiot Burgers With the Wrong Kind of Lettuce

We're still in the process of keeping on top of the vegetables we buy. I DETEST throwing away food, and I try really hard to use everything that we've bought (I'm looking at you slowly wrinkling apples) so I needed something that used up the tomatoes hiding on the bottom shelf, as well as the last of the mushrooms in the bottom of the crisper. I'm always nervous about mushrooms, after a few days they get a little slimy and all of a sudden, there's mushrooms in everything.

So, burgers!

1 lb ground turkey

2 Roma tomatoes

Several leaves of Romaine lettuce

However many mushrooms were left in the fridge (I think five)

1 avocado sliced

1 large sweet potato, sliced

2 tbsp coconut oil

I didn't want to defrost a whole 3-lbs of ground beef, so the little 1 pound ground turkey tubes that we found hidden in the wrong aisle at the grocery store came in handy.

We were also out of eggs, so we had no glue to hold the patties together and they were admittedly a little fragile. So next time, I'll be mixing an egg in to hold everything together better.

Anyway, roll out some patties with whatever ground meat you want to use. We made sliders, so I got nine out of one pound of turkey.

Preheat the oven to 450 degrees

I shallow fried the patties in coconut oil, they took about seven minutes to cook over medium high heat.

Cut the sweet potatoes into fry-sized bits (Mr. Idiot did that bit, and I have no idea how he cut them so you're on your own)

Coat the fries in coconut oil (I think Mr. Idiot cheated and used peanut oil, but shhhh) and a generous helping of salt and pepper.

Spread them out on a baking tray and make sure they have a little room to breathe or they'll get soggy, not crispy. Put those suckers in the oven for 15 minutes. Once the 15 minutes is up, flip them over and put them in for another ten. Check up on them, they should be getting brown, but not black. Add extra five minutes of baking as you need to.

Slice up the tomatoes, avocados and mushrooms.

I sauteed my mushrooms briefly in some coconut oil, but feel free to eat them raw if you want.

Arrange everything on your lettuce, and top.

We really should have used iceberg or something for this, because the romaine lettuce was a pain in the ass to use as a “bun”

We cut up a little sharp cheddar and put that on the patties too.

That's all, just go ahead on nom on these little burgers. They are delicious. Next time though, better lettuce.

Paleo snacks: back with a vengeance

Like I've said before, snacking while on the paleo diet can be a bit of a challenge. Paleo kind of requires that you prepare stuff, and the last thing I want to do when I want munchies is spend an hour cooking something. But, it also forces you to get creative with your snacks, and I like creativity.

This is a double duty recipe, which I love. This will do nicely for snack food or breakfast food. It's a different take on eggs and bacon, that's portable and really really fast.
These were a hit in the Idiot's house. I made a dozen when Mr. Idiot got a long lunch and came home, and about half an hour after he left I got a "DIBS ON THE REST OF THE MUFFINS" text. These are delicious hot out of the oven, cool from the counter or cold out of the fridge, and they are worth fighting over.

Eggs and bacon "muffins"
To make eight muffins:

4 eggs
8 strips of bacon
3 tbsp coconut flour (for reasons discussed last post, I'm still using regular flour because money)
2 tbsp bacon grease (or fat of your choice)
As much cheese as you feel is necessary

I think Mr. Idiot and I have come to the conclusion that our particular paleo does indeed include dairy. I can't abide fake cheese, and being totally honest with you, dear readers, almond milk is just not the same as a nice glass of icy cold cow juice. And cheese. This Idiot loves her cheese. We're working out our guidelines as we go along, but dairy has made the cut. You don't have to use cheese in these little mini muffins, so follow your heart.

To make a bigger batch of these you can just double everything, but keep in mind, one egg makes two muffins, the amount of bacon in this is completely arbitrary. There is never a need to cut down on bacon, so put in as much as you want. The flour is mostly for consistency, so if you follow the ration of 4 eggs to 3 tbsp, you should do okay. Ditto on the bacon grease.

Anyway, down to business.
Preheat the oven to 375 degrees, crack your eggs in a bowl and whisk in the flour.

Word to the wise, I googled a few of these paleo muffin recipes before cobbling this one together, and I did NOT read all the way through before I started cooking. If you don't have a food processor (like us) Do Not cook your bacon and try to cut it into bits. You will fling bacon all over your kitchen. Slice into strips prior to frying. Pro tip. Because I love you.

Once the bacon bits are lovely and crispy, add those to your egg "batter", and add the bacon grease as needed. If you're adding it straight from the pan it will cook the eggs a little as you add it, so keep the "batter" moving as you add the grease.

Add cheese (and any other ingredients you fancy. I think next time I'll be adding sliced peppers...endless possibilities)

Pour your mixture into muffin tins that you've sprayed with oil or lined with muffin cups and stick that baby in the oven for fifteen minutes, or until the tops are springy to the touch. Resist the temptation to fill the cups up all the way, these muffins rise a lot. Keep it at about 3/4 full.

Take out and enjoy!

Better than the real thing

So it's been about a week now that Mr. Idiot and I have been paleo.

Well, it's been a week for me. Mr Idiot has been summoned by his country to do important training exercises, which I'm pretty sure primarily include learning how to lie in the mud and get rained on...tax dollars at work ladies and gents.

Anyway, they don't make paleo MREs so he's eating what he's given. But I've been (kind of) sticking to the paleo diet, and one of the most challenging parts of eating like a caveman is snacking. When I want a nibble throughout the day, I usually eat crackers, chips, toast, cookies, popcorn, none of which we're allowed to eat on this diet. So snacks have been a real struggle for me. Meals have actually bee much easier than I anticipated. And exponentially more delicious, but that's for another post.

I've been searching for all kinds of snack ideas to satisfy the cravings I get during the day, so here is a great one. If you've got paleo friendly snack ideas, please for the love of god share them, because extending my repertoire is going to be necessary to keep this diet going.

Cauliflower popcorn.

I was dubious about this when I tried it, but I was desperate for something crunchy and salty and it sounded worth a shot.

I was right, it was really really good. Mine got a bit burned, but I think that's because I cut it up too small. I used a popcorn recipe from food.com that I made some adjustments to.

1 head of cauliflower, with large stems removed

coconut oil (you can use any fat you like)

salt

garlic powder to taste

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees.

Cut the cauliflower up into heads about the size of a ping pong ball. Don't do what I did and rip it into tiny little individual heads. Keep them fairly big, and cut the stems pretty short.

Combine your fat, salt and garlic (or whatever spice you'd like to use) in a bowl and coat the cauliflower in it.

Put the cauliflower in a baking tray, line it with parchment paper to save the cleanup, and put it in the oven for about an hour.

Check on it every ten or fifteen minutes to turn the cauliflower, and to make sure it's not burning.

Once it's golden brown and crispy, you're all done.

Mine is definitely burned, as you can see, but even then it was still so good. I'm going to put a little less salt in it next time, but those additions are really up to you and whatever you feel like. I'm pretty sure if you added cinnamon or another sweeter spice this would be equally good. 

This is fake popcorn. And I was of the impression that most fake things are bloody awful. Tofurkey is terrible, turkey bacon is an insult to real bacon, most of the time, the imitation is nowhere near as satisfying as the thing you're replacing.

This is an exception. This was just as satisfying, if not more so, than real buttery popcorn. It was extra good because it didn't evaporate in my stomach like popcorn does, it stuck around and I was hungry again until dinner time. Try this, even if you're not doing the paleo thing, it's very very easy, and surprisingly satisfying. I found myself wishing I had another cauliflower so I could make another bowl.