Monday, January 27, 2014

Monday salad: extra easy because I'm extra tired

It's nearly 9pm here at la casa des Idiots, and I'm finally sitting on my bum. FINALLY.
Today Mr Idiot had the day off, so we used our Monday much more productively than last week (in which we binge-watched Netflix and ate bacon) and ran all of the errands. ALL. THE. ERRANDS. We prayed at the alter of the Army Gods (aka the Soldier Support center) to get some of the cost of the move back, (YAY MONEY!), we visited Mr. Idiots long-ago-neglected UPS box only to find out that they only keep mail for thirty days before they return it to sender. And his has been closed for at least three months. Oh well. We also needed to pick up some groceries, but it's my least favorite time of the month, which is the time three days before payday where we have maybe a $60 buffer, and we're all out of almost everything. My fridge is a sad, mostly empty mess right now, and it gives me a big sad. But! We're trying this new thing where we space out our bills so we don't get completely drained by the 3rd of the month, so here's hoping come February we won't have these shitty three and four day periods where we've got zilch in the bank. To make that long story short, we need some more food, but we had to really scratch out what we've got left. So, thirty bucks poorer, we've got enough nosh to see us through until payday.
We even remembered to return my (shockingly) overdue library books, which I think they've written off as lost by this point.
By the time we got home, I was ready to cook dinner and just flop on the couch, but nope. Mr. Idiot has plans for his Monday and they've gotta happen. We spent almost an hour moving a couch from the spare room into the living room, and moving the pull out couch into the spare room. I know that sounds like no biggie, but the movers tried to get that sucker into the spare room and failed. The people whose job it is to make things fit through doors couldn't get it, so these two Idiots figured they'd try. Yeah, pro tip, if the movers don't do it, don't try it yourself. Eventually we got it through the door with only minimal doorframe damage. I was sweaty, grouchy, had pulled something in my back, stabbed by invisible couch nails, and had yelled at Mr. Idiot at least six times to NOT DROP THE COUCH ON ME, the last thing I wanted to do was actually cook dinner.
But, what did I do? I went and made some awesome salad thanks to Michelle Tam over at nomnompaleo and as luck would have it, it was easy as hell. I did make a few modifications to her recipe, because I'm lazy and I need to improvise sometimes...

Asian nut salad
This salad is awesome because it makes enough for both of us to be full, and to have leftovers for our lunches tomorrow. And just let me say, Mr. Idiot eats A LOT for both lunch and dinner, so the fact that there's leftovers is saying something.

For the sauce, you'll need:

2 tbsp almond butter (I used peanut, sue me)
1 tbsp fish sauce (I'm pretty sure you could sub coconut aminos for this and be okay)
1 tbsp white vinegar.
1 tbsp coconut oil
2 tbsp applesauce (unsweetened)
1/2 tbsp garlic chili paste

For the salad:
2 chicken breasts
1 whole head of romaine lettuce
3 or 4 carrots, grated/julienned/sliced however
2 apples, sliced

This salad has shredded chicken in it, and before we got a hand mixer/food processor (THANKS MUM <3 ) we had to shred chicken by hand (like savages). So, my advice is boil the chicken breasts while you're doing everything else to cook them. If you don't have a mixer or anything, you can shred by hand once the breasts are cool, or use two forks to rip it to bits. Your call. IF however you just got God's greatest invention, the food processor, you're fine.

So, put the breasts on on boil and start grating/julienning/slicing your carrots. I used four medium carrots for this, but use your judgement. Whatever ratio of carrots to lettuce to apples you want is good.
A mandoline makes your life easy

Put your carrots in a big bowl.

Chop up the apples. I didn't peel them because I love apple skins, but that's totally your call. Slice them into eighths and then in half long-wise, so they've still got some chunk to them and toss them in the bowl with the carrots.

Hopefully, your chicken is done boiling, so let it cool if you're using your hands, or cut it into quarters and process that bitch.

Wash off the lettuce and rip it into bite-sized bits. I hate the giant...spines, whatever they are on lettuce, so I just ripped off the leafy parts.

Throw that into the bowl and mix it all up.

Combine all the ingredients for the sauce and pop it in the microwave for 30 seconds to melt the coconut oil and soften the almond butter. Mix all that goodness together, pour over the salad and serve.

I was too damn tired to take any pictures after I'd added the chicken or the dressing or plated it, because I was so excited to eat and sit down.

This blog entry took longer to write than the salad took to make, so it's AWESOME when your feet hurt and you're hangry.